Brothers and sisters, we have been on a roller coaster of emotion and self reflection during this day. A day which will be known as the first day of the rest of our lives.
Some believers reference an epiphany. But that is not a strong enough word. The joy brought unto the world on 3/15 is a rapturous joy. Akin to paradise on earth. Proof of a power far greater than man thought possible. The most humbling of events to show how we truly are simple beings, kneeling at the feet of a power we can only pray to understand.
If, last night at the hour of judgment, you were not on your knees with your head to floor, begging for either forgiveness for doubting the will of the great almighty and renouncing your fellowship of the false basketball god that slithers through the halls of Dukedom ; or, you were not genuflecting in uproarious thanks and praise for the Almighty's willingness to grant you indelible proof of his righteous claim to spiritual piety: Your soul is lost. And you will burn with the crushed souls of the goblins in Dukeatory.
Tears. They flow strongly in times of extreme joy, abject horror, hideous pain and at the sight of coach KKK locked in embrace with any one of the myriad of goblins, gargoyles and fruitcakes who have followed his lead into the dark and empty hollows of the bowels of basketball.
Tears cleanse a soul and purge a body. Joy and pain. The line is a fine one. Often, they are only separated by a righteous and unshakable belief in a higher power that will help guide and protect against insidious attempts to shake faith and claim souls. And that power is concentrated and strong. Oft times demanding to test our faith by allowing evilishness to flourish for years at a time, seemingly unchecked. But, when righteousness and faith are finally rewarded by a demonstration of the power of good, the tears from the joy that follow cleanse to the core. And the pain and tears that follow for the non-believers and false idolaters cut to the bone. Even drawing blood.
Retribution from above can be swift and vicious. Two of coach KKK's evil agents tasted their own blood. And believe, the two goblins that were cut open were not coincidental. Gerald Henderson's veins flowed in retribution for his assault on Tyler Hansbrough. And John Scheyer felt the wrath of righteousness for his evil performance in the same game that Henderson chose to allow himself to be coach KKK's implement of brutality.
Tears and blood cleanse. Humble yourself before the righteous forces, presently; lest you are smote like the satan you follow!
As if victory and the blood of the soul-less was not enough to confirm our righteous faith, the wielder of the sword which severed the head of the rat only further lends credence to this being the ultimate demise of the devil. VCU Negro Head Coach Anthony Grant proudly and gloriously represented the Tribe of Shabazz by raising the head of the slain devil in a show of absolute triumph of good over evil.
And the final strike against satan on earth was the buzzer beater that cut out his wretched undead heart, so reminiscent of the many shots caste by satan's ghoulish underlings against the righteous over the years. A fitting demise!
We thank Anthony Grant. We thank Eric Maynor. We thank the VCU rams.
And most of all, we thank the righteous power above for choosing to grace us with this testament to our faith, goodness, righteousness and soulful prosperity.
Allāhu Akbar! The heart of the satan on earth beats no more!