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Friday, March 16, 2007

Rapture: Humbled by the Power of Righteousness

It is too late to bow your head and repent. Your lot is caste. And your demise assured.

Brothers and sisters, we have been on a roller coaster of emotion and self reflection during this day. A day which will be known as the first day of the rest of our lives.

Some believers reference an epiphany. But that is not a strong enough word. The joy brought unto the world on 3/15 is a rapturous joy. Akin to paradise on earth. Proof of a power far greater than man thought possible. The most humbling of events to show how we truly are simple beings, kneeling at the feet of a power we can only pray to understand.

If, last night at the hour of judgment, you were not on your knees with your head to floor, begging for either forgiveness for doubting the will of the great almighty and renouncing your fellowship of the false basketball god that slithers through the halls of Dukedom ; or, you were not genuflecting in uproarious thanks and praise for the Almighty's willingness to grant you indelible proof of his righteous claim to spiritual piety: Your soul is lost. And you will burn with the crushed souls of the goblins in Dukeatory.

Tears. They flow strongly in times of extreme joy, abject horror, hideous pain and at the sight of coach KKK locked in embrace with any one of the myriad of goblins, gargoyles and fruitcakes who have followed his lead into the dark and empty hollows of the bowels of basketball.

Tears cleanse a soul and purge a body. Joy and pain. The line is a fine one. Often, they are only separated by a righteous and unshakable belief in a higher power that will help guide and protect against insidious attempts to shake faith and claim souls. And that power is concentrated and strong. Oft times demanding to test our faith by allowing evilishness to flourish for years at a time, seemingly unchecked. But, when righteousness and faith are finally rewarded by a demonstration of the power of good, the tears from the joy that follow cleanse to the core. And the pain and tears that follow for the non-believers and false idolaters cut to the bone. Even drawing blood.

Retribution from above can be swift and vicious. Two of coach KKK's evil agents tasted their own blood. And believe, the two goblins that were cut open were not coincidental. Gerald Henderson's veins flowed in retribution for his assault on Tyler Hansbrough. And John Scheyer felt the wrath of righteousness for his evil performance in the same game that Henderson chose to allow himself to be coach KKK's implement of brutality.

Tears and blood cleanse. Humble yourself before the righteous forces, presently; lest you are smote like the satan you follow!
As if victory and the blood of the soul-less was not enough to confirm our righteous faith, the wielder of the sword which severed the head of the rat only further lends credence to this being the ultimate demise of the devil. VCU Negro Head Coach Anthony Grant proudly and gloriously represented the Tribe of Shabazz by raising the head of the slain devil in a show of absolute triumph of good over evil.

And the final strike against satan on earth was the buzzer beater that cut out his wretched undead heart, so reminiscent of the many shots caste by satan's ghoulish underlings against the righteous over the years. A fitting demise!

We thank Anthony Grant. We thank Eric Maynor. We thank the VCU rams.

And most of all, we thank the righteous power above for choosing to grace us with this testament to our faith, goodness, righteousness and soulful prosperity.

Allāhu Akbar! The heart of the satan on earth beats no more!


nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

accidentally erased:
(Anonymous) 3:58 PM

You know who Coach KKK blames in all of this? Dawkins and Henderson. Look for Johnny to get the Gaudet treatment one of these days. (Anonymous) 3:58 PM

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Look for Johnny to get the Gaudet treatment one of these days"

Sir, we have heard thru sources that a feeler originating from Durham has been inquiring about a videographer job with the UCONN women's basketball team.

Anonymous said...

The faithful rejoice with you, brother. At long last the great Satan has been slain. I regret that in my bracket, I did not believe, and had Duke in the Sweet 16. But I repent, and hasten to say that it was only to gain money that I would then donate to the destruction of evil.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"But I repent, and hasten to say that it was only to gain money that I would then donate to the destruction of evil"

Sir, we would suggest that the most appropriate means of to contribute to the triumph of righteousnesss would be to remit a substantial financial penance to NOIS. Contact us for details.

awhat?! said...

Really, Anonymous? An attempt to win money by riding on Duke, version 2007?

You're not so much a wayward follower as a f-ing mental midget who doesn't know Kevin Durant from Jimmy Durante.

I didn't realize Islam had any effect on Duke basketball, either. Irrationally despising Duke must be a pillar. Good stuff. Next time I'll make sure to consult my local sheikh next time I sense the urge to take Duke and the points. I'm sure said sheikh agreed back in 2001. Either that or Jay Williams was a lapsed Christian...

Anonymous said...

Enjoy it while ya can boys, because as we learned about a decade ago...the Devil doesn't stay down long.

Go Duke!!

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Enjoy it while ya can boys, because as we learned about a decade ago...the Devil doesn't stay down long."

Sir, that was a decade ago. This is a war of attrition. And the earthly body of the devil is in far worse condition than after the '96 debacle. He has no mentionable base to build on right now. Roy has moved UNC past him. This was not a one year anomoly (sp?).

And when he retires? Mmmm. You are in for some fun over in Durham. Enjoy the parade of beatdowns!

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

" Next time I'll make sure to consult my local sheikh"

Sir, you've confused the Nation of Islam with Islam in the Middle East. The only sheikh we at the sportsblog are familiar with is WWE hall of famer, the Iron Sheikh. And, he hates Dook, too.

the butler said...

"enjoy the parade of beatdowns"

You mean like UNC got when Dean Smith retired? 16 out of 20 anyone?

It's nice to see the rivalry didn't stay that one-sided. Wouldn't really be able to classify it as a rivalry if we kept dominating them every year.

Oh, and Alaa Abdelnaby strongly objects to the "Duke is all-white" stereotype. (even though he sounds like a white guy). He told me (in his white guy voice) to tell y'all that.

So is NOIS's team the Tar-Heels? Or are they merely the default because of the Duke rivalry?

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"we kept dominating them every year"

Sir, "we"? I thought we established that you weren't an alumn. There is no "we". There is them, and you...a wannabe.

We shall see how Duke manages the devil's retirement. And how long it takes them to straighten it out.

Carolina had a few rough years. But please remember, Bill Guthridge took them to 2 final fours in his three years immediately after Dean.

Duke had a nice run. But it's over.

Enjoy the rebirth of Carolina dominance on Tobacco Road. "WE" sure will.

(I can say "we", I actually went to the school. :)

the butler said...

Nice. Yes, a wannabe. But I had no choice. It's like growing up Catholic. I was indoctrinated. If I had grown up around my Carolina alum family members (of which there are also many), I'm sure I'd be wearing a much wussier shade of blue today.

But hey, my Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles are just difficult to get up for. (when I was at school there we actually had the chance to be spanked by UNC, right after your boy Jeff Lebo started coaching us)

I'm glad to hear that you're a Heel. I get irritated with people who just hate Duke because they won a lot in the 90's. Your hate, however, is warranted. I love being part of the greatest rivalry in America (even though I'm not an alum), and I have all the respect in the world for UNC.

My good friend here in Vail is a Heel, and we were talking about this the other night. You see, for the rivalry to be as strong as in the past, both teams must continue to be on or near the top. If one sucks, like for example this year's Duke team, then it's just not as fun anymore. That's what always puzzled me, I would never hope for UNC to go down in a heap of mediocrity like we did this year. I didn't shout praises to Allah when the Heels got ousted in '01 in the 2nd round by Penn State, I won't even mention '02 (you're welcome), or the heart-breaking NIT Quarterfinals loss in '03, or after the 2nd round loss in '04.

And when you came back in '05 and won it all- it was actually refreshing.

In closing...I leave you with this.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Nice. Yes, a wannabe. But I had no choice. It's like growing up Catholic. I was indoctrinated. If I had grown up around my Carolina alum family members (of which there are also many), I'm sure I'd be wearing a much wussier shade of blue today."

Sir, the path to righteousness is filled with personal choices and free will. When you are experienced enough to see the error in your ways, it is incumbant upon the individual to take the appropriate measures of change. Sometimes, it is converting to the beliefs of NofI. Others, it is abandoning the path of the false prophet in Durham, and following the trail of righteousness up Franklin Street.

the butler said...

Like I said...

If I had known this was down the other fork in the Tobacco Road, I might have chosen differently.

Alas, however, I fear it is too late. I will remain an infidel, trying to keep the beat in my dance with the Devil.