Coach K(kk): Already An Apologist

The team has now been selected.

But, before even so much as an exhibition game has been contested, the US Olympic Basketball coach has already begun to set the groundwork for explaining not coming home with the top prize.

“It’s really the world’s game. We think we’re the best at playing that game,” said coach Mike Krzyzewski, warning that “unless we show the respect to the rest of the world that it is the world’s game” there will be no gold medal.

We wonder, how should the US team go about showing respect to the rest of the world that basketball is in fact the world's game?

And, we also wonder if Kryshevalski would have already begun a campaign of preemptive excuses if his roster included any caucazoidal players.

Certainly, sending the most evil, polarizing coach available; a coach renowned the world over for meticulously extracting and removing the NBA potential from his players, and letting him coach NBA players...is one way of showing the world we respect the game.

This can't possibly turn out well for the Nation.

Duke Football: Legally Ruled to be Horrible

We have taken the initiative since the founding of this blog to shine our dark light on the most evil, horror filled and despicable institution known to the Nation: Duke University.

The athletic program operates under the powerful and misanthropic spell of the most evil creature known to college sports, Coach Krushalewshevoskosky. An earthly demon fully aligned with Hell and bound by contract with the devil to haunt the Nation with the most detestable basketball program conceivable.

A program fashioned from the tear filled cadavers of pale, flaccid 'hustlers' and 'on court coaches'. Players who sign their allegiance to the devil. And, in return, receive the chance to play for an ACC title; but, sign over their NBA souls.

Coach K(kk) has long plotted to ensure that basketball will forever be the straw that stirs the Dukies' drink. Usually a sugary, effete concoction, at that.

Now, a court ruling out of the Commonwealth of Kentucky verifies, through prolonged judicial process, that Duke football is a crime.

Duke decided to opt out of a multi game contract with Louisville. And the case ended up before a judge.

"At oral argument, Duke [with a candor perhaps more attributable to good legal strategy than to institutional modesty] persuasively asserted that this is a threshold that could not be any lower," Shepherd wrote in a summary judgment issued Thursday, according to the paper. "Duke's argument on this point cannot be reasonably disputed by Louisville."

Essentially, the judge ruled in favor of Duke's assertion that Louisville could fill the schedule hole by replacing Duke with a comparable team. And went on to define a comparable team as any team, because there was none worse.

Among the many positive outcomes from the court legally ruling that Duke is the lowest of the low: Ranking the 119 Divison I football programs just got easier.

Any D-I rankings now must legally place Duke at the bottom.


Where they belong.

USA Hoops: Dancing With The Devil

While the rest of Blogfrica, ESPN, SI and MNF beat the equine carcass that is the Michael Vick address, we at NOIS have far more varied interests and observations with which to enlighten you.


Specifically, we have just read a column on Yahoo Sports written by NBA columnist Adrian Wojnarowski about USA basketball leader Jerry Colangelo.


Colangelo was the insider's insider in the NBA, as powerful and connected of a figure as any that worked in the game. He could get people together and get things done in the league. With failure after failure for USA Basketball, it finally did away the cumbersome, politically driven selection committees. Less than a year after the bronze medal in Athens, Colangelo was hired to run everything. "Total autonomy" is how he describes it, and truth be told, that thrusts him onto the firing line like no one before him.

Wojnarowski goes on to detail Colangelo's motivation and influences in his new role. And some of the steps he has taken to try to engage success.

So now, a beleaguered basketball power has entrusted him with the biggest burden of all in America. However it goes, they'll know where to find Jerry Colangelo: Knee-deep in it all.

Entrusted.

That is a key word here.

Colangelo has been given the mandate to push USA hoops back to the top. There is no second place. There is only the gold medal in Beijing. Anything else equates to failure.

Sometimes, successful men are faced with reputation making and breaking situations. The opportunity to succeed requires courage. Courage is not fearlessness. Courage is the ability to - in spite of the presence of fear - effectively perform the task at hand.

Unfortunately, we believe that Colangelo's most important maneuver as the head of USA hoops showed a lack of courage.

Colangelo chose to dance with the devil. Entrusting the near future of USA basketball to the boney, dusty hands of satan on earth. Colangelo sold his soul and future success.

Great pressure can lead to great opportunity. It can also lead to great temptation, false promises and eventually wounds so deep that the bleeding does not stop for decades.

Right now, USA hoops has a paper cut.

But the flow of blood has begun.

Renowned for draining the drive, skill and desire from the hearts of his college players; Coach Kryshevskilewski has been given the keys to the Olympic squad. Now, he is given the opportunity to ravage the best the NBA has to offer.

In an effort to win gold, Colangelo and USA hoops may very well be signing away the soul of the NBA.

Of the hundreds of players that have been shanghaied into the Duke basketball program, we can count on one hand the number that have had meaningful and lasting success once released from their indentured servitude in Dukeatory.

We can count nearly endlessly the players that performed on a high level while there, and then were shown to be apparitions when they arrived to the bright lights, big cities of the NBA.

Exposing the top NBA players to satan on the court for such a lengthy period jeopardizes the future of the NBA. Will these players be able to regain their former athleticism and skill after spending significant time with Kryshevskadinski? Will they have the will to succeed upon their return to the NBA? Will they even want to play basketball again?

Jerry Colangelo is a man with a track record of success. He was the architect of a wonderful program in Phoenix. He did things the right way.

Unfortunately, it seems the pressure of holding the responsibility for USA Basketball in his hands overcame him. Putting the team under the 'tutelage' of Coach Kryshevskwizki can only have two outcomes. Neither is positive.

USA hoops continues it's streak of futility. Or, the USA wins the Gold and satan is hailed as the savior of basketball in America.

We should all be praying together. Praying for the re-emergence of a back injury.

Jerry Colangelo has signed away the soul of USA Basketball.

McRoberts: No One Bought The Hype

Josh McRoberts, the underachieving and borderline talent that was offered by Duke to the NBA this year, was listed on most "experts" boards as a first round pick. His narrow shouldered, tear streaked self had grossly underachieved in a less than explosive ACC. Yet, this boy who was brutalized by Tyler Hansbrough and roughed up by countless others, was first round material?

The notion that any self (or otherwise) proclaimed expert could possibly mention first round and McRoberts in the same sentence should have been taken as an affront to the sensibilities of any and all close followers of basketball. Further, it should have been repudiated by anyone that can even pick a basketball out of a lineup consisting of a basketball, a volleyball and a soccer ball. How and why would these draftniks attempt to fool anyone into taking McRoberts seriously as a talent. A first rounder?

Pushing McRoberts on us is proof of the reach of the boney, dusty hand of the devil. The crypt keeper of evil that bastes himself in the horrific emanations of Dukedom. That creature which roams the earth stealing the souls and potential of high school players blinded by his human form, only to be used up and discarded by the hidden demon.

For years he has deftly and insidiously manipulated us and the NBA into taking his alabaster off-spring in the first round. Only to wake up after the spell is broken to realize that these offerings couldn't even sit closer to the court than the 12th seat on an Estonian minor league team.

It started with that first group of goblins he lead to the final four in the mid-80's. The NBA was fooled into taking Mark Alarie in the first round. Then Danny Ferry. Bobby Hurley. The androgynous Christian Laetnner. JJ Redick. All first rounders.

And this year, Josh McRoberts. We were told he was nimble and had good "athleticism" for a big "man". At least that is what we were told. Fortunately, we have eyes. And, not as fortunately, virtually every Duke game is televised. So, there was no opportunity to avoid the obvious revelation that McRoberts was a McFraud.

In the past, NBA teams have been victimized by the evil spell that coach KKK has been able to conjure through the auspices of his hypnotized legion of media sycophants. But this year....KUDOS to the NBA for not awarding the impending bench sitting of McRoberts with guaranteed money.

While the NBA still willfully leaps off cliff after cliff doling out money to unproven, unknown and very tall foreign teenagers; it is a step in the right direction to see that they reject the ghoulish creations birthed in Dukedom.

We implore the NBA, for the good of all: Draft any 7 footer you find in Uzbekistan before you taint the league and vacate your funds on one of coach KKK's chloroxed cadavers.

Duke Basketball: Victims of Vitriolic Hatred

If only there existed a group of people that could tell us what it is like to be unfairly persecuted against, misrepresented in the media and hated simply because of the color they wear. A group of people that do nothing inherently wrong, and everything inherently right. And are solely hated for who they are. A group that just tries to live good lives and be good people on a day to day basis. That does absolutely nothing to provoke the malfeasance and divine dislike that they receive. Hatred based on inconceivably irrational logic and a lack of understanding and appreciation for the culture they have created.

Where can we find a group to tell us about the details of the viciousness they endure? To enlighten us with the lessons of how they trudge on in day to day life; facing the hatred and ill will of an uninformed and biased opposition. To detail the history of hate levied against their people. A group to teach us that, in the face of torment and caustic words, the appropriate response is to cry out in defiance and complain to all that will listen. Although, usually the only sympathetic ear is attached to the nerdy, rounded head of their fellow group members. But no matter! If the media does not cast an entirely positive light, cry out one must.

Through trembling lips and teary eyes they tell the world: "We shall be your whipping boy no longer! You will LOVE us! YOU will! You WILL!

As one, they come together as a people and allay the jealous and hateful insults with an offensive attack meant to show everyone how wrong they are!

"Freedom", screamed William Wallace on the torture table.

"Stop being mean", would be the rallying cry of this venerable group of ideological stalwarts and warriors of self preservation in the face of innumerable forces designed to thwart their very existence.

But, where is such a group?

Are they a civil rights coalition aimed at fighting racism? An anti-defamation league aimed at combating negative stereotypes and mistreatment? A group fighting for acceptance and the right to live out their lifestyle choices in equality and peace?

No, this group has undertaken a far more socially responsible movement. A movement designed to not only impact how we think, but how we live. This is a group that has been the recipient of hate and persecution that Negroes, Jews, Homosexuals and all other groups combined could only imagine in their worst dreams.

And now, it is time for them to respond. The time has come for this group to rise up against the media, opposing fans, naysayers, carpetbaggers, muckrakers, rabble rousers and all such undignified entities that would find fault with their identity. Fault with the identity they have willfully chosen: Duke Blue Devils (fans and team alike).

Unwilling to allow the proliferation of anymore hate against them, they have responded with a detailed history of the roots of the ill-placed hatred; and a sure fire plan to stamp it out.

"But the performance of the media at times, particularly in light of a recent incident during the tournament, has been disturbing, and several reporters have contacted us to express their concern and their hope that we would take this up. Wish granted."

On high, the wish for a consolidated and powerful response to any media that might perform an act which could be construed as not flattering towards Duke is most appreciated and most righteous. We feel a kinship and a solidified perseverance in our own work when we read such highly motivated and ideologically sound expressions.

"To a large extent, what now gets called Duke hating started at Maryland and was spread by Gary Williams, who in various ways insinuated that Duke gets all the breaks. In the 2001 Final Four, when Duke came back against Maryland, he famously yelled at a court side official, “how badly do you want Duke to win this game?”

And in that one moment, when a frustrated coach mocked the referees, a Pandora's box of execration was unleashed. And an easily swayed and unnaturally accepting media and citizenry wrapped themselves in loathing and brought Gary Williams vision of intolerance to life.

"His jihad against Duke and his perception of a favoritism towards Duke have had results which were likely beyond his wildest dreams. "

And here would be our only point of contention: Beyond his wildest dreams? Indeed. His precursory attack on the referees with the accusation of favoritism was calculated and intentional. Williams knew quite well that such an insult would lead to the rest of the basketball world forgetting that Coach K and Duke were worthy of only love. The results fully realized what Williams intended that day, with those refs.

"But in 1992, with Christian Laettner’s “stomp” of Aminu Timberlake (we’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: if a 6-11 guy plants his foot in your stomach and you get up laughing and clapping, it’s not much of a stomp), which, remember, closely followed UConn’s Rod Sellers pounding Laettner’s head onto the Meadowlands floor, Duke started getting some heavy criticism from the media and, of course, from the Commonwealth of Kentucky. And no discussion of Laetter in this context would be complete without mentioning the rumors that he was gay and that he and teammate Brian Davis had an intimate relationship."

For some reason, the author inadvertently forgets to mention Gary Williams' role in all this. After all, he started the hatred for Duke in 2001, right? Wait. What?

And we agree. For some reason NO ONE can mention Laettner and Brian Davis without bringing up that rumor of an intimate relationship. Thank goodness the author of this article lays that slander to rest with an all none to definitive denial and deters its proliferation by ambiguously referencing it in a context which bears no relation to it. That is the text book method for debunkment.

"In the late ’90s, antipathy towards Duke coalesced around Steve Wojciechowski, who played with a surpassing intensity despite his limited athleticism. One national columnist responded to e-mails by telling people he just couldn’t stand Wojo and thought he shouldn’t be a candidate for any postseason honors (he said it in a harsher way than that)."

Who is this columnist that would suggest that Wojo shouldn't be the player of the year? We remember watching Wojo slap the floor with the agility and poise of a rabid gibbon; and we thought, "Now there, there is the ACC player of the year." And then Duke lost the game and Wojo shed salty, giant tears. And we thought, "What passion!"

"Online, it was far worse. Duke fans had long since gotten used to the taunts about Krzyzewski’s surgery and the suggestion that he bailed on his team."

Excellent point. Anyone who knows basketball knows that his team bailed on him!

"But then there are some truly abhorrent sites. There is the normal pedestrian crap, which we don’t link to, and then there’s stuff like the nakedly racist Nation Of Islam Sportsblog"

We assure all readers, the posters on this blog are clothed at all times.

"However, the willingness of ESPN (among others) to fan the flames is pretty hard to take - and grossly unfair. It’s gotten to the point where every call at the end of a close Duke game is highlighted and questioned."

And this is further evidence of the hate. Questioning close calls, or pointing out obvious errors by referees couldn't be more prejudicial and hateful towards Duke. The madness must end.

"Still, it’s hard to understand how ESPN can allow Stuart Scott to openly display his bias towards Duke. It gets tiresome to say the least to hear him promote UNC and constantly denigrate Duke. ESPN also employs Bomani Jones, who could moonlight at the Nation Of Islam blog with statements like this: “without question, I’d say that Duke is a white supremacist institution.”

Agreement! ESPN should balance the tables. It would be wonderful if they had a Duke grad as a major analyst. Or a Duke fan as their top color man. If only.....sigh.

And we can't agree more here with the brilliant method of combating the "Duke is a white supremacist institution." Going after a Negro anchor and Negro writer is the BEST means of promoting a Duke image of colorblindness. Well done, author! Well done.

"There’s nothing one can do about individual wacked-out fans, but when the media loses their sense of perspective, whether out of a rooting interest or because slagging Duke pumps up ratings, the only way we can deal with it is to express ourselves, frequently and forcefully. "

Agreed. We would suggest the same. Do yourselves......frequently and forcefully.

The White Blue Devil Is Defeated

Salaam aleikum, Paul Hewitt.

Your Georgia Tech Black Jackets defeated the ultimate white devil, Mike Krshewissdiyssky and his evil forces of oppression, in the subhuman form of Duke Blue Devils.

For years slave master coach KKK has built his fortune and fame on the back of the original human. In turn, slave master coach KKK has tried to give the credit to the white players that have reaped the benefits of the Negro teamates around them. Jay Bilas, Bobby Hurley, Christian Laetner...etc, have all been products of their Negro teamates. Held in esteem and on high as they paraded themselves mounted atop the Negro throes beneath them.

How times have changed in Durham. Now, slave master coach KKK doesn't have the great numbers of talented Negro soldiers to fight his battles as in the past. Now his white players are exposed for what they are. Greg Paulus and Mcwhatever his name is are shown to be little more than above average players.

This season is shaping up to be payback for the thievery of slave master coach KKK. He stole the talent and energy of the Negro player for years. They gave all so he could be placed on a pedestal by Dick Vitale and amass a fortune. In return, what did they get? Besides brother Elton Brand, when is the last time a Duke player was prepared to make an impact and reap the benefits of NBA superstardom?

Titles and victories. A fortune. Slave master coach KKK may as well ride his Negro players around campus.

The greatest player the White Blue Devils ever gave the NBA was Mike Gminski. An act Negroes everywhere will never forgive.