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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Rick Reilly: Corniest Columnist of All Time?

We've never been a fan of EPSN's (previously SI's) Rick Reilly.

His columns are routinely formulaic. His wit is bread knife sharp. His observations are apparent.

He's average. But was shoved down our throats on the back page of SI. And now ESPN spent big dollars to lure him away and provide an alternative to the frat boy drivel and stale beer stench wafting from The Sports Guy.

All this, while Whitlock is allowed to walk and Scoop and Jemele get barely a shove, let alone a push.

He's bored us with human interest stories about his father, sailors, soldiers and other stuff, that, if written by a passionate author, might have been of interest. Pontificated on a few righteous topics. And chapped his lips on a behind here and there.

Not once has he tackled a controversy. He pointed out that it was wrong of a high school pitching battery to conspire to bean an umpire and he demonstrated the greed of some athletes. Certainly, limbs that could bear any weight.

And, most disappointingly, rather than using his high profile spot on the WWL to fill the walrus shaped void left by Whitlock; he has not taken the opportunity to point out the compelling racial injustice embedded in the Nation's sporting industries.

His only foray near this area was to encourage his readers to root against Negroish golfer Tiger Woods.

His most recent piece was a jock-sniffing effort portraying the job stealing Kerry Collins as a stand up guy who does nothing but 'tell it like it is' and own up to his shortcomings.

Hidden within the cliche filled ramble, jam packed with enough corn to feed 100 head of livestock, was a carefully measured dig at the abandoned Vince Young. The Vince Young who spent the off season providing the cohesion heavy leadership needed to bring together this history seeking Titans team. The Vince Young who had his legs cut out from under him just as the season began. The Vince Young who lost his starting job to an injury. The Vince Young used and betrayed by management. That Vince Young.

Reilly chronologies some of the more difficult moments in Collins career (you know, the moments where he didn't come in and QB a team that an up and coming Negro QB had worked so hard to bring together to make a run at an undefeated season). He points out that Collins admits that early on, the pressure got to him. That he didn't know how to handle it.

Here's the irony: Collins is the Titans' starter—and an unlikely MVP candidate, at 35—because the kid he replaced doesn't know how to handle it yet. Vince Young melted down in the second week of the season. There was talk of guns, confusion and suicide. Even his mother said her boy was "hurting inside and out." And yet sitting at the next locker was a man who once made Britney Spears look Amish. Still, Young has never asked Collins to help him.

Never does Reilly mention that the talk of guns, confusion and suicide was not so much talk as it was media propaganda perpetuated by his coach and management.

Reilly makes it seem as if this is Young's fault. As if Young should be sitting at Collin's feet begging for advice.

Perhaps Reilly forgets that Young was a highly drafted Negro QB, who was projected to be the franchise player who would lead the Titans to the Super Bowl.

Perhaps Reilly forgets that Collins was a washed up back-up, lucky to even have a roster spot.

Wouldn't it make more sense for the washed-up clip board carrier to be the one to ask the highly paid, highly drafted Negro QB if he might like some advice? Or, have we really gotten to the point that it is a fair expectation of a young, highly drafted and paid QB to be the one to take action?

Clearly, Reilly believes that since Young is a Negro, it is up to Young to beg for Collins mentorship.

If you look at Collins' face this week, you'll see a big cut on his nose. He was deer hunting, saw a six-pointer loping by, didn't have time to get a good rifle rest on his shoulder, fired anyway and the recoil nailed him. But he got the deer.

Figures. He never did like to pass the buck.

Unless there was a Negro QB involved.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Vindication: A Truly Righteous Mandate

Since the righteous, holy and necessary initiation of this blog, we have received countless emails of abuse. Emails demanding that we not point out the racial injustice inherent in sports. Emails subversively and unintelligently pretending that we were the source of racism in sports. Emails haplessly and helplessly constructed in impotent attempts to refute our truths.

Well, kind readers and voracious sports fans...this evening fully establishes the necessity,usefulness and secure future of the movement that established this blog.

This evening also is vindication of, and mandate for, the truths we have unveiled and revealed.

Today, with the election of President Barack Obama, the states of this Union almost unanimously (we can't be bothered to count those backward Red states south of the Mason Dixon) united in a simultaneous and spontaneous pronouncement that:

America believes race is the most pressing issue in our lives.

The election of a Negro Potentate is confirmation from and by the citizens of this Nation that they demand that racial issues be the center of all that we discuss and all that we do. That ending racism and elevating the status of each and every Negro victim of the African Diaspora is the issue held most dear to every voting American in this Nation.

You want proof? Ask any Negro why they voted for Obama. Next, assume that anyone who didn't vote for Obama did not vote for him because he is Negro. There. There is your proof that race is the center point of every vote. That this was not so much a presidential election, but rather a referendum on race.

Additionally, the free voting populace of this Nation affirmed their approval of the Righteous moral mentor of the newly coronated Potentate, the good Rev. Jeremiah Wright.

The Nation voted overwhelming in support of Wright's 20 years of influence over the thought and moral compass of the Potentate. Most sensible political analysts would continue this to mean that the Nation has justly voiced their collective approval for Wright's teachings. That the Nation hopes to move collectively along the moral and spiritual path set by Wright.

The referendum on race confirmed that not only do Negroes hate rich white people, but that most rich white people hate rich white people as well.

Further agreed upon through the voting process was that that Nation fully supports reparations. The potentate calls it 'spreading the wealth', redistribution of wealth and (years ago) he called it reparative economics. It's reparations. And it's long overdue.

To quote the sister who became famous on YouTube after an Obama rally, 'If I have trouble putting gas in my car or paying my mortgage, He is going to help me.'

From your mouth to Allah's ears, Sister.

Finally, we at NOIS believe this election was a mandate.

A mandate for NOIS. A confirmation that the Nation supports Negro leadership, the views of Rev. Wright and reparations. A mandate cast through the power of vote. Mostly through the power of white voters. Voters who, when they pulled that lever to admit that the needed a Negro leader, vindicated every word ever written on NOIS.

Therefore, good readers, the real winner of the 2008 Presidential Election is.............NOIS.

This election was about NOIS from the first debate during the primaries right up to the NOIS surrounding McCain's concession speech.

Now, if the Titans would just give the team back to Vince Young, we'd be on our way to a better, more Negro America.