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Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The Interviews: Your Turn, Jason Whitlock

We did our first interview with deadspin's illustrious Will Leitch. This month, we bring you a short question and answer session with AOL Sport's and the Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock.

We have given Mr. Whitlock some harsh criticism here in the past. But also have posted positively about him when his thoughts have been correct.

As part of our continuing series to learn more about some of the writers and bloggers that influence discourse and direction on the net; we submitted some questions to Jason in the hopes of learning more about his thought process and viewpoints. We learned he thinks a lot about barbecue.

1) You claim to have been good friends with and a teammate of Jeff George in high school. A real friend would not have let him appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated after he was drafted sporting a porn 'stache and what appears to be a mullet. Why didn't you stop him?

The porn stache was very popular in 1990. Along with a strategically placed, rolled sock, it was a clever way of suggesting you were packing heat.

2) You share some similarities with the great Negro writer James Baldwin. Mr. Baldwin became active in the original Civil Rights movements, and you are attempting to raise consciousness to instigate a follow-up movement. Do you see yourself further following in his footsteps and becoming frustrated with race relations in the US and moving to Paris?

Paris is not an option. But I could see myself going back to Tokyo and opening a barbecue joint. You can't get good burnt ends anywhere in Tokyo.

3)Which is the best 'cue: Memphis, Kansas City, Carolina or Mongolian?

This is an absolutely silly question. I've been to Memphis, Carolina and Mongolia and nothing compares to what Mr. Gates throws down in KC.

4) For a long time, white folks have referred to the Nation of Islam as a "black KKK". Do you think that attributing the term to a completely different group of Negroes (thug types) will further confuse white folks. Possibly leading to hating the different groups of Negroes for the wrong reasons?

I didn't know that the NOI was ever called that. What violence has that group been associated with? The Million Man March was the most peaceful, beautiful event I've ever attended.

5) You are clearly an intelligent man. One would think you bring home a nice paycheck. And you call yourself "Big Sexy". Our sources indicate that you are still single. How can this be?

The key phrase here is "you're an intelligent man." Women think men want a "challenge." My job is a "challenge," losing weight is a "challenge," dealing with idiots is a "challenge." I don't need another challenge. Once a relationship becomes a challenge, I bounce or she bounces. Marriage, the way we conduct it here in America, is the ultimate challenge. When I find one half my age plus 7 who doesn't want to make life a challenge, I'll buy a ring.


(caveat: the "Ladies...." is taken from an ongoing reference in the comments section at deadspin. We don't want to be further accused of biting other blogs.)


Anonymous said...

please, like whitlock has time to talk with you nutjobs.

the butler said...

Kansas City!?!?!?

That's a traveshamockery. Memphis OWNS BBQ!

Everybody knows that.

Anonymous said...

Fake interviews. Another rip off of KSK. I thought most crime was black on black.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Fake interviews. Another rip off of KSK. I thought most crime was black on black. "

Sir, we invite you to contact any of our interview subjects to ascertain the veracity of our presentation.

Thank you for your uniformed accusation. It suits your ignorant outlook on crime.

Anonymous said...

i just heard that osama bin laden is taking credit for steve irwin "the crocodile hunter"'s death.

is this true?

dean smolder

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"i just heard that osama bin laden is taking credit for steve irwin "the crocodile hunter"'s death."

Sir, we did a post on that a long time ago.

Anonymous said...

losing weight isn't a challenge for whitlock. it's an impossibility. as is finding a woman for him.

badabing baby!

Unsilent Majority said...

Whitlock tried to tell it on a mountain but he got tired halfway through his climb.

I kid, you're alright Mr. Whitlock.
As are you, NOIS.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

" I kid, you're alright Mr. Whitlock.

As are you, NOIS."

Sir, righteousness flows through our veins. "Alright" is an understatement. We are "all right".

And super clever, too, huh?