Firstly, indulge us.
This is a painstakingly slow week in sports. So please, we beg your attention as we turn ours toward some of the happenings in the blogosphere (which, we will be referring to as blogfrica in deference to the original man, the members of the Tribe of Shabazz, the original bloggers).
We detailed, in unbiased and completely indisputable fashion, the evil intentions being carefully formulated and cast upon blogfrica over at Deadspin. Now, we take a moment to reveal more bias and outright hatred directed at the members of Shabazz by another congregation of bloggers, united in racist sentiment and unrepentant in their anti-Negro sentiment.
We warn you, however: Let not the luxurious, soft skin upholstering the delicate (yet sturdy) orbs of temptation sway you from the underlying message. Or the hatred that lies beneath..... beneath the inviting cleavage, tightly wrapped in the pink-ish top, lifting the upper pectoral region skyward...culminating in a crescendo of orgasmic mammarian apex, highlighted with what appears to be a pearl necklace. It's hateful. And we have another pearl necklace to frame those creamy, suckling mounds.
Kissing_Suzy_Kolber provided a post detailing a story proliferated by the "ladies" at a site called Girls_Gone_Sports. We know nothing about the site, have never heard of it and doubt that women could provide anything ostensibly entertaining in the world of sports blogging. And, no, we aren't sexists. We are realists. Righteous realists.
To the chase.
Our indignation was initially sparked by this offering:
About a year ago we saw a flyer for the opening of a new Circuit City in our local mall, The Parks Mall, or as it's more appropriately referred to around here - The Darks Mall. Fittingly, Julius Jones was scheduled to make an appearance at the grand opening of the store to sign autographs and such. Intrigued, we grabbed our rape whistles, donned our kevlar and headed up to the Parks Mall to go meet Julius Jones.
The Darks mall? Fittingly Julius Jones was scheduled to be there? Rape whistles?
It gets more vicious in sentiment. And, isn't it a well known bon mot that you can't rape the willing?
So we marched up to Julius as his staff was putting away the autograph table, and batting our lashes we politely asked if he would sign my titty. Everyone around here says that Julius is a super nice guy so we were sure that he wouldn't turn us away, but he silently looked me up and down, turned to one of his security guys and said: "Tell Juggs and Red we be done."
The sentiment: That a Negro athlete could not possibly deny the sexually charged manipulative advances of a young white trollop thrusting the frothy white, full figured instruments of the devil into his face.
The reality: That young Brother Jones found the strength and righteousness necessary to quell the libertine intentions of the alabaster coquette. Reaffirming his commitment to the righteous values of the Tribe through his carefully chosen Ebonics dismissal, "we be done." The verbal denial of the white devil.
We stood there in horror and disbelief. What NFL star in his right mind would turn away a young, nubile white girl exposing her perky, milky white titty? It was the most degraded I had ever felt
The sinister intentions of the would be seductress failed to account for an important factor. The chloroxed siren anticipated reception from an NFL star in his "right" mind. However, she encountered an NFL star with a "righteous" mind.
Normally, we would not be in favor of the degradation of women. In this instance, however; degradation seems to be the most fitting result.
Brother Jones' strength in the face of the racistly invoked assault upon his moral values is a signal to loose white women everywhere. The beginning of a movement. A shout from on high. A clear message from Negro athletes that we humbly relay through blogfrica.
If you want the Brothers to autograph your tit-ays....show your damned nips!