Not long ago, we posted on here that we hoped the "sport" of hockey would be left like road kill; a bleeding carcass on the side of the road, rotting in the sun as vultures circled over. Apparently, last night, something big happened in the world of hockey. Unbeknownst to most sports followers and ignored by almost any media outlet of consequence, a match up of the very best "athletes" hockey has to offer took place in Dallas, on the Versus "network". And you know what? This is proof that our prayers have been answered.
We defy the casual sports fan to name 5 players in the game. The handful of diehard hockey officiandos will certainly be able to do so. But we are talking about the average sports fan, not the fan that actually believes Versus is a viable network. It can't be done! This is further proof that hockey is at best a fringe sport and an area of refuge for the "athlete" that can not compete on solid ground with the original human.
Ask the casual sports fan to name five football pro bowlers. Name five basketball all stars. Not a problem. Even 5 baseball all stars is simple. Interesting, isn't it. Football and basketball, the sports completely dominated by the Negro athlete are the most followed. Again, a reflection that even the caucasian sports follower recognizes that without the Negro athlete, a sport is not a viable sport (read: hockey).
Clearly, with hockey's demise almost complete, the caucasian athlete may well be left without a game to call his own. Young white children may be left without role models. We believe that all children need role models and all children can benefit from participating in athletics. Therefore, we graciously offer up a role model and a sport suitable for the white athlete. A sport that relies less on athleticism and competition and moreso on creativity and subjective scoring.
The quintessential white male athlete of the 21st Century:
Figure skating will give caucasian males an arena in which they can compete in a "sport" on skates, wear fancy outfits with gloves and be completely sheltered from the threat of competition from Negro athletes. It's essentially hockey, but with a viable TV audience.
So, to all the white parents out there: Go sign up for some ice time and get your boys fitted for their costumes. It's time to lace up the skates and start producing some white male "athletes".