Operating under the auspices of concern for player 'safety', the Chiefs seem to be the driving force of this move to force players to cut the locks that exceed a length which covers their name on the back of their jersey.
The most 'recognizable' players that would be affected by this rule would be guys like Al Harris, Rashean Mathis and Mike McKenzie. Negro players who propagate the Original tradition of wearing flowing and lustrous dread locks.
Certainly, it would seem fair to decry this misguided NFL attempt to squash a practice which promotes Negro cultural awareness. Yet another play by the plantation bosses to ensure that the chattel conform to the bleached expectations of the league owners. A blatant attempt to prevent Negro youths from having role models who openly exhibit valued Negro traditions.
Few would argue these points.
Few would argue these points.
Conversely, sometimes a persecuted people must allow themselves to be oppressed, repressed and suppressed . Sometimes, there is an altogether unrecognized benefit in not fighting a particular battle of righteousness.
We put forth that this is one of those times, and urge Al Harris and the other 'lock sporting Negro players to conform with this policy and trim their manes. For the greater good.
We would only suggest submission to the plantation in instances where the benefit to the Original Man clearly outweighs the demeaning and calculated attempt to govern such things as petty as hair length. We understand that the notion of a bunch of rich old white 'owners' getting together in a meeting and coming out of the board room to collectively order, 'Hey young Negroes, cut your hair so you don't scare our more sensitive white ticket holders...', is the type of thing that should be fought with the most righteous of passion. We do understand that the Original NFL athletes that will be forced to take a scissor to their 'locks will feel a pain and a humiliation.
But, at times, the humiliation of a few individuals for the righteous progress of a Nation is the tax that must be levied.
We would ask that Harris and all others simply cut their 'locks. Cut them before it becomes 'law'. Take away the rush of power the owners will feel when they order you to cut them. Deprive them of their sadistic pleasure. Fortress yourself from the constitutional rape they would force upon you.
For the greater good. Do it for the greater good.
We apologize for shocking you with the above redneckish, grimey and offensive image of Robert Gallery sporting his ridiculously long, straightish hair. However, we offend for effect.
And the most hideous offering:
So, while deferring without a passionate fight to the owners demands might seem to be contradictory to righteous thought; the reality is that it benefits the Nation.
By compliantly shortening your own locks, the rest of the Nation would no longer be subjected to the types of images we were forced to assault you with on this post.
The selfless act of exterminating their Original tresses would, simultaneously, eradicate the offensive and distasteful practice of sporting a mullet.
We understand and agree that the notion of telling players to 'cut their hair' is clearly and unequivocally a racially insensitive and probably even a racially motivated undertaking.
However, let's turn the tables on the 'owners'. Let's force them to poke themselves in the eye.
Let's watch them engage in their very own reenactment of 'The Gift of the Magi', as their beloved linemen (read: white players) are forced to trim the mullets that many hold so dear.
Al Harris, et al:
Your dreads will be remembered for this sacrifice long after Matt Light and all the others mullet'eers have left the game.
Your act of selfless sacrifice will have saved a generation of young, Original fans from the vicious images the NFL would have subjected them to every Sunday.
A grateful Nation thanks you.