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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

More Pacman News

If you didn't see this on, check it out. It's a drug dealer expressing his concern for Pacman Jones' behavior and lifestyle issues. Of course Pacman and his peeps said they hardly knew the guy and weren't friends.

Well, this article on sheds a different light on the relationship between Pacman and the drug dealer.

Moore, who has a motions hearing March 28 before Judge Cheryl Blackburn, was arrested as a central figure in a bust in which nearly 2,000 pounds of cocaine and marijuana were seized last April. The television report showed documents from police that originally showed Jones as a potential suspect and person of interest in the case.

And, why would Pacman have been a person of interest in such a thing?

It went on to say that Moore, who sometimes spent the night at Jones’ former residence on Woodmont Boulevard in Nashville, carried on dozens of conversations with Jones that were taped through police wire tapping. The police report states Moore was at the cornerback’s residence about 90 minutes before his arrest.It said police had staked out Jones’ residence and found Moore’s vehicle there shortly after 9 a.m. on April 1, 2006. It goes on to say that Moore exited Jones’ house approximately 40 minutes later with a briefcase.At around 9:50 a.m., the police timeline indicated that Moore and Jones were talking to each other in the garage of the home, and that Moore left the house with a bag about two minutes later.At 11:31 a.m., officers began arrest proceedings for Moore. Eight others were also arrested in the sting operation.The WTVF report concluded saying that Jones had attempted to reach Moore by telephone after his arrest, apparently not knowing that Moore had been apprehended by police. Jones was not charged in the matter.

Which brings us to this article. Apparantly, the drug dealer hasn't been the only one worried about Pacman's behavior. His family has been trying to get through to him as well. With little success.

"Everybody tries to talk to him," his uncle, Robert Jones, told the newspaper. "I do. His mother talks to him, his grandparents talk to him. ... I don't know, I just think he is out of control. I've told him I think he is out of damn control, but he doesn't want to hear it."

"And a lot of people around him don't have his best interest at heart," he continued. "I tell him, just like I'm telling you, but he'll leave me or go on out the room when I am talking to him. He knows right and wrong, I guarantee you that. But he just thinks the dollar bill can get you out of everything. Well, the dollar bill isn't always going to get you out of this [stuff]."

Honestly, though, thus far the dollar bill HAS been awfully kind to Pacman and he is still walking the streets (for now) after a recorded 8 incidents (including his West Virginia scrapes with the law).

"Pacman just draws attention to himself with the way he carries himself. He goes into clubs with six cats that call themselves 'security.' Well, what kind of attention do you think that's going get? He doesn't need all that," he told The Tennessean. "They know he's there, but he has all these cats surrounding him like he's the Buddha or somebody."

After the incident at the Minxx, it seems they should call themselves "armed security".

Can you imagine what we might be instore for when Pacman is cut or run out of the league; and is no longer motivated to worry about his behavior?

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Rick Telander: Manlove For Whitlock

We haven't posted anything of consequence in a few days, so this one is a long one.

Columnist Rick Telander has weighed in on the goings on at All Star Weekend, after hearing about what happened (we aren't sure if he was there or not, but are sure that if he was, he didn't witness anything first hand, anyway...but, he is gonna proceed to espouse on the issues and problems in Negro America...preach on, Brother Telander, show us the light!) and reading Jason Whitlock's account of the weekend (apparantly he read the AOL account, not the KC Star offering...) he just had to let us know where he stands.

And who'd have guessed: He stands right next to Jason Whitlock...probably in an all you can eat buffet dessert line.

We already addressed our issues with Whitlock's dual points of view and pandering literary knob slobbing, so we won't bother with him. But, let's take a good look at what this man-hug from Telander to Whitlock is smothering between them.

"For the first time in my writing career, I see learned, thoughtful, civicly aware African-American sportswriters saying that this behavior -- even if it stems from the historic seeds of poverty and injustice and racism -- is appalling and enough."

And then he cuts to a Whitlock quote (yes, of course, from the AOL, not KC Star column).

"'We have a problem in the black community, and it didn't make its debut at All-Star Weekend in Vegas,'' writes sports columnist Jason Whitlock, a black man whom I admire and consider a friend. ''What was impossible to ignore in Vegas was on display in Houston, Atlanta and previous All-Star locations.''

Where to start?!

Firstly, Telander is a long time journalist, so his insinuating that Whitlock is one of the FIRST civicly aware, learned, and thoughtful Negro sportswriters is an insult to every intelligent Negro that has submitted a sports column in the past 20 years. We aren't going to bother to do a search, you can feel free, but we will never type another word if someone can show that up until this past All Star Weekend (or just recently) NO Negro sports writers have said a word about a need for the Negro community to do some soul searching in regards to athletes and hip hoppers and the like.

We will admit that we are impressed that Telander has a black friend (even if it is Whitlock), that gives him some real currency in addressing Negro issues and pointing his finger at Negroes.

"Hey, Niggah, my boy is J-Whit, the need to knock that hip hop behavior off!"

Cause, we all know, that when a white guy tells us everything that is wrong with the Negro community and tells us that it is the Negro's fault; it really holds water if he can back it up by referencing a Negro friend or two. And if said white cat thinks their friend is civicly aware, learned and thoughtful; well, how can one disagree? If whitey comes along and tells me that Negroes are awful and horrible and all their problems are brought on by their own horrible behavior and lack of brainwave activity AND he holds up a note from his Negro friend saying the same thing, then I guess we can't argue with that, right?

"Whitlock, a large, intimidating-looking fellow who played Division I football and was nauseated by the thug posturing in Vegas, goes on to say that with the exception of Louis Farrakhan's 1995 Million Man March, black thuggishness ''has been on display nearly every time we've gathered in large groups to socialize in the past 15 years or so.''

Why does Whitlock having played D-1 ball (although, Ball St. is clearly on the fringe) have anything to do with this? One of the points Telander seems to be making is that the Negro community holds athletes in too high a regard. That everyone gives athletes a pass on how they behave and live; because they are athletes. Yet he goes out of his way to point out that Whitlock was an athlete. Does he point that out because he believes we should value the opinion of an athlete more than an average joe? Umm...isn't that part of the whole problem he and Whitlock have with the Negro community, that athletes get carte blanche? Yet when it is convenient for HIM, it's important for US to remember that the opinions about thuggery and Negro nonsense are coming from an ATHLETE, so they mean more.

And Whitlock ain't intimidating looking...he's fat. That's different. But it is an important psychological tell from Mr. Telander. He characterizes his friend as being intimidating looking. His large, Negro friend. If someone who is a friend intimidates Mr. Telander, imagine how he must feel around large, unfamiliar Negroes. Think that might play a role in Rick's perception of Negroes? If your friends scare you, larger groups of them out partying must cause you to have a coronary.

"In one of the strongest, most fearless statements of post-Civil Rights disgust you will read anywhere, Whitlock writes, ''instead of wearing white robes and white hoods, the new KKK has now taken to wearing white T's and calling themselves gangsta rappers, gangbangers and posse members."

Or, one might characterize it as one of the most grandstanding, pandering pleas for attention you will read anywhere. The profound ignorance in calling young Negroes "the new KKK" is mind boggling. The KKK was an organized effort, rooted in hate, to destroy. Like it or not, the KKK was begotten by mainstream society. Only later was it pushed to the fringe. Young Negro males, feeling disenfranchised or caste off by white society (whether they are correct in that feeling or not) is not in anyway, shape or form comparable to the KKK. It makes wonderful print and obviously excites a middle aged white columnist (with a handful of black friends) to the point of providing literary felacio, but it is purely stupid.

"Newsday sports columnist Shaun Powell, an elegant African-American writer whose column on the death of his brother at the Pentagon on 9/11 is one of the most beautiful eulogies I've ever read, is fed up, too."

Sweet. Telander has another Negro friend (see quote below). And he, too, is one of the most brilliant writers in America today. Lucky, Telander. Only a handful of brilliant and elegant Negro writers and they are all his friends. Wow. It's easy to be completely right on any issue involving race when you have brilliant, elegant writing, civicly minded, thoughtful and learned Negro friends. How could anyone, Negro or not, disagree with someone cashing in that sort of currency?

"Powell, a longtime friend, has a book coming out next fall dissecting the modern American sports world through the lens of black America, and I have read the manuscript and it's stunning. Powell makes no apologies to black society or white society for his conclusions. In the still-untitled book, he takes everything and everyone to task for the dilemma he sees in the increasingly diverse and wealthy and yet impoverished and violent black world, from pseudo-science to rappers to adoring sports fans to technology to the loss of interest in the goals of late civil-rights heroes Rosa Parks and Arthur Ashe. "

Friend's book coming out; ok, plug dually noted. Next item?

Oh, and we really enjoy the way that Telander described the book as being through the lens of "black America". We'd hazzard a guess that a LOT of Negro folk see things through a different lens than Powell. Just a guess, though.

''I don't know if [certain other black writers] could have written the book,'' he told me the other day. ''They have too many people to protect.''

Or, maybe they couldn't have written the book because they see things differently? Because they have had a completely different experience in life? Just a thought...

"Whitlock makes the same point, somewhat crudely, writing that ESPN's reporters, black or white, wouldn't tell us about the ''carnage'' at All-Star Weekend because they ''were embedded in the rear ends of the troops -- Shaq, Kobe, King James, D-Wade, Al and Melo.''

(Gee, harsh words for ESPN?...from a guy they fired? Imagine! Nope, no hard feelings there, purely objective.)

Or, could it be that some of these cowardly writers didn't think what went on was all that unexpected? Or really out of the ordinary or eventful? That maybe, they didn't get their panties in a twist and get all indignant over the fact that not all people are of means and not all people say excuse me when they bump into you? Hell, we are no fans of Bill Simmons writing, but even he wasn't overly bent out of shape about the weekend in his account. And he seemed to be able to write about whatever he wanted. He pointed out that there was certainly a seedy element in town. But it didn't seem to cause him to suggest that every Negro in America needs to go do some soul searching. Rick Telander wasn't even there (we don't think), but based on what Whitlock had to pander, he is now thoroughly mortified.

"Hating anarchy should have nothing to do with profession or status. And certainly not with color."

Sorry, did we miss something? The entire column seemed to be about color. Our bad.

But, Telander is right. It's just a lot easier to get indignant over it when the anarchy is perpetuated by Negroes.

One of our posters, for some unexplainable reason, is a fan of Nascar. He went to Martinsville, VA to watch a race. He is a Negro. He had chicken bones thrown at him and was the target of many evil stares and words. A very nice white guy walked up to him half way through the race and said, "Some of the boys up there are starting to get a little too drunk and are talking about coming down to mess with you. I just wanted to let you know. And really, this probably isn't a good place for you to be anyway."

So, Rick Telander and Jason Whitlock, next time you walk into the Minxx or anywhere there is a gathering of young Negro males, instead of getting your panties in a twist; remember the words NASCAR fans had for the Negro, the words that don't seem to bother anyone in the least when they are directed at a Negro from a white man: "This probably isn't a good place for you to be anyway."

I mean...we're just sayin'.....But then again, only one of our posters was an athlete. And it was just 1-AA ball, so Whitlock's opinion means more, right?

Monday, February 26, 2007

If You Don't Mind

We have received a few emails complaining that we hadn't posted in a few days and that today's post referencing Dr. Z was not up to par.

Sorry, but understand:

Louis Farrakhan held what is being billed as his final major public gathering this weekend past. His leaving the lead of the NofI is an earth shattering event which mandates that we pause and reflect on not only the direction of the NofI, but this blog as well.

So, please, send us supportive email telling us how wonderful we are and how much you support us. Make posts on your own blog encouraging us through these trying times.

We know that if we were gay and someone made fun of us, you would.

Thank you in advance for your prayers for both our faith and the future of the NofI.

Dr. Z: A Man That Understands Football

Say what you will about Sports Illustrated's venerable Dr. Z. Sure, he is older than dirt, grumpier than an old Negro janitor and writes in a prose so boring it is most reasonably described as cathartic; but Ole Dr. Z gets it right every now and then.

From a recent Q&A in his column:

"Rather than call quarterbacks such as Michael Vick "coach killers," why not call most NFL coaches, "Black QB killers?" The wide open college game, the imaginative offenses that utilize the all around athletic skills of so many QBs, many of them black, have been neglected by the buttoned up NFL offensive mentality. But we'll see this change in the future.

Hmm, interesting stuff. The traditional argument against what you like, which included the Run 'n Shoot at one time, is that NFL defensive players are so agile and fast, such terrific hitters, that it would be only a matter of time until they'd have all those imaginative QB's on injured reserve. Well, Vick has managed to survive, you could say. True, but his movement was the result of improvisation, not part of a standard offense. I'm not really arguing ... I kind of share your feelings, especially since I'm old enough to remember the days of the single-wing and the triple-threat run, pass, kick tailback. I'm just trying to present the NFL's argument."

We are sure that Dr. Z would have gone on further to illuminate the NFL conspiracy to destroy the Negro QB (see our archives) and Michael Vick in particular; from setting him up with law enforcement to changing his coordinator every year to ruin any chance of him developing a comfort zone. Unfortunately, we suspect that Peter King or some other power that be over at was able to prevent that information from seeing the light of day.

But they can't stop NOIS!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Whitlock: Make Up Your Mind, Brah! Real or Talk?

Jason Whitlock can't seem to make up his mind.

Real Talk! That's what he calls his column on AOL sports. 'Cause, homie keeps it real!

He tells it like it is. Doesn't pander to anyone or anything. Doesn't mince words. Doesn't hold back. Bitch slaps bojanglers and apparently is in the process of hunting down the Black KKK (whatever that is).

Now, we are all for a Negro having the cajones to feel that what he has to say is important and NOT to feel pressured into caving into political correctness. Fight the Power!

But, at this juncture, after reading Whitlock's diatribes on AOL this week, and then comparing them to his column in the Kansas City Star, one has to wonder: What is Real? and, what is Talk?

We aren't going to rehash the entire articles, as there are a few blogs out there that did a bang up job of it (see roundup for a few links and check out for some more words on the hypocrisy), but we'd be remiss if we didn't lend a comment or two.

[Red is his latest AOL column. Blue is his KC Star column]

"Could you imagine the level of denial had my column not been written?

We would still be running around pretending that NBA All-Star Weekend was some sort of glorious black holiday, and anyone who dared mention the nasty elements of what transpired in Vegas would be shouted down as a racist."

Sounds like we owe Jason high praise for being the only honest voice in the media. Being the only writer man enough to call a spade a spade; so to speak. Tell us, Jason, how nasty was it?

"we’re talking about The Perfect Storm of ghettofabulousness — booze, babes, gambling, celebrities, a dunk contest and no such thing as last call.

You could feel All-Star Weekend in Vegas calling you in the pit of your stomach and from areas below."

Damn, that does sound bad. We can't think of ANYTHING nastier than what lies below the bottomless pit that is Jason's stomach! Thank goodness you were there to report on this and not allow the NBA and the media they control under their thumb to live in denial! Expose that nastiness.

"We have a problem in the black community, and it didn't make its debut at All-Star Weekend Vegas. What was impossible to ignore in Vegas was on display in Houston, Atlanta and previous All-Star locations."

So, if there is a problem like this in the Black community, Jason Whitlock is the man that is gonna set it straight, true?

"You just had to be there, even if you no longer love the NBA the way you did when Magic, Bird, Michael and Isiah ruled the game, even if you had zero interest in the actual game."

But, if the problem is so nasty and horrible, WHY did "you" (I assume Jason means the collective you) just have to be there? Why not stay home and stay away? Why put yourself out there and risk harm and nastiness and danger?

"For black men and women below the age of 45, NBA All-Star Weekend in Vegas was a calling you felt deep in the pit of your stomach."

Oh, gotchya. Black folk just can't fight that internal, rhythmic jungle urge to go, right?

"The whole All-Star Weekend just put me on edge; it left me in a sour mood. I can't deny what I saw."

Right on. No one is asking you to deny what you saw. What did you see?

"All-star weekend a perfect party"

Huh? Come again!?

"All in all, NBA All-Star Weekend did not enhance Vegas, and Vegas did not elevate NBA All-Star Weekend. Vegas is still Vegas. And All-Star Weekend is still a little too ghettofab."

A little too ghettofab? But we thought that it was the nastiest of the nastiest. "A little too ghettofab"? It had to be worse than that, right?

"The Black Ku Klux Klan shows up in full force and does its best to ruin our good time. Instead of wearing white robes and white hoods, the new KKK has now taken to wearing white Ts and calling themselves gangsta rappers, gangbangers and posse members."

That's better! Phew, we were gonna say, reporting it as being a bit on the ghetto side ain't gonna get you love letters from white folk or raise any eyebrows. But, there you go! Change "a little too ghettofab" to a tale about the Black KKK rolling into town and terrorizing the strip...and HELLS YEA, you are gonna get some love from your white readers and raise some eyebrows! Nicely played!

"This must be the way Rosa Parks felt on that bus. She was just tired of eating white racist (spit). I'm tired of eating black racist (spit)."

Homeboy, from the looks of you, you ain't tired of eating a DAMNED thing.

From our point of view, the only thing worse than a racist is someone that positions themselves to appeal to the racist elements of one group by contriving a racist element in another. There are people that don't know how to act regardless of race, religion or ethnicity. To try to characterise the lack of a moral consciousness and the lack of a respect for others (regardless of race) by individuals of one group as being some sort of organized effort to emulate the KKK is a sad proposition. And then comparing yourself to Rosa Parks is the mayo on the shit sandwich you are trying to feed us.

Obviously, you don't give a damn what YOU eat, Jason. But some of us refuse to swallow the mess you are serving up. Pander all you want. Call every brother in the world a "bojangler".

But remember you can't change the truth: Every time you drop those giant drawers of yours; your ass is still black.

And you can't help but show it.

Tim Hardaway: What He Really Meant

Scoop Jackson did a nice interview with Tim Hardaway, to get Tim's version of what was behind his radio comments about hating gays.

Essentially, and we knew this from the beginning, it was a miscommunication. Hardaway stands by his right to not condone the gay lifestyle. And, regardless of where you stand on the issue, THAT is his right. If he chooses to disassociate himself from homosexuals, who are YOU to tell him he HAS to accept them?

But, the thing that needs correcting is the "hate".

Tim doesn't HATE homosexuals. He just hates them. Dig?

"But I was never brought up to hate anybody, you know that. But that's just the word and that's how we used it. You know when we got a whopping we'd be like, "I hate my moms" or "I hate my dad," and at the time you really didn't hate them, but that was the word you used. You know I can go into a restaurant and say, "I hate this food, I hate the chef, I don't even know why I came back to this restaurant." But I know I can't use the word like that, or let's say I'm not supposed to. People have come up to me and told me, "Tim, you can't say that you hate gay people because it's not the same term." But that's how I talk. That's the way I am."

So, Mr. Hardaway was just speaking in the vernacular that he used coming up on his block. And, of course, rather than investigate what he meant or where he was coming from, the white media decided to make a sacrificial lamb at the alter of gaydom out of Mr. Hardaway. Rather than trying to understand the terms in which Mr. Hardaway was speaking, it was easier to vilify the man in an attempt to ruin the life of a successful Negro.

Any person with half a brain would clearly equate Mr. Hardaway's "hating gays" with you or I "hating to go to the dentist". See? You don't HATE the dentist. You just hate dentist.

Once again, the white media attempts to destroy the Negro with his own words. Twisting the meaning of a harmless vernacular into a hurtful commentary intended to cause pain and suffering.

Rest easy tonight Gay America. Tim Hardaway loves you.

Pacman Jones: More Details Emerge

Just thought we would point you to this article which has details of the warrant in the strip club shooting involving Pacman.


"A topless dancer promoter took a trash bag full of NFL player Adam "Pacman" Jones' cash and fled the Minxx strip club early Monday, leading to a brawl and shooting that injured three people, one critically, according to a search warrant obtained Wednesday by the Review-Journal.

The search warrant, issued Monday in District Court, was for Chris Mitchell's room at the Silverton casino and hotel. Mitchell, who has been interviewed by police, had promoted a four-day event at Minxx for the NBA All-Star weekend. He had brought in dancers from his Houston-based strip club, Harlem Knights, to perform at the 4636 Wynn Road venue, near Tropicana Avenue and Valley View Boulevard.

Las Vegas police recovered more than $81,000 in cash from Mitchell's room that investigators believe belonged to Jones, a 23-year-old cornerback for the Tennessee Titans. They also recovered a brown cloth bag and two Breitling watches, but it was not clear who owned those items."

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Bill Simmons: Stealing From "The Surreal Life"?

Sad day when Bill Simmons steals material from "The Surreal Life":

On the bright side, now that every female in Vegas dresses like a hooker, it's impossible to tell the real hookers from the fake ones, which means we'll probably have a Vegas-themed game show called "Hooker or Looker" some day.

Good one, Bill.

Only problem is, that this week's episode of "The Surreal Life: Fame Games", which aired before you wrote your "column", had EXACTLY that.

Hookers and "lookers" were brought in and the teams of "celebrities" had to try to figure out which were the real call girls. And the show was in Vegas. And Robin Leach (the host) even referred to the game as "separating the hookers from the lookers".

Guess when you write a 15,000 word column, you take whatever ideas you can.

Ever see Scoop Jackson steal from "The Surreal Life"? Didn't think so. (The "orange roundie" thing was just a coincidence. Really.)

HBCU Update: Hampton U and the NFL Combine

Just a quick note of pride for all you HBCU grads that frequent this blog:

Hampton University is leading the way for non D-I schools at the NFL combine this year. The Pirates had 5 players invited to the workout.

Interestingly enough, that is more than USC!

Who knew that there were more NFL prospects out in Hampton Roads, VA than in the mighty land of Troy?

Dallas Clark: Colt's TE Thrown Out For Bad Behavior

While the mainstream media is spending time trying to somehow attribute a violent gentleman's club shooting in Las Vegas to Pacman Jones; an out of control member of the Super Bowl champs is busy raising hell in Iowa.

Dallas Clark apparently terrorized referees during a girls high school basketball game.

"Clark, a Livermore native and former Iowa football player, was asked to leave the gymnasium late in the third quarter of the district final game between Twin River Valley of Bode, where Clark attended high school, and Southeast Webster-Grand of Burnside in Burnside, two school officials said Monday, according to the The Des Moines Register."

"I have seen other parents behave a lot worse, but he apparently got into one of the officials' ear," said Kirk Gilson, the athletic director at Southeast Webster-Grand. "I really don't know what led up to it, but apparently one of the referees didn't like what he heard from him."

The venomous attack on the referee was heinous enough to motivate the high school principal to ask Mr. Clark to vacate the premises.

"Gilson said Clark left the gymnasium immediately and without incident after being asked by Dan Grandfield, the Southeast Webster-Grand principal."

There was no word on whether or not Clark went to his car to get a gat.

The mainstream media tries to vilify Pacman Jones for trying to get out of harm's way and escape a gunfight; yet, beloved Colts' ivory TE Dallas Clark's verbal assaults and vicious behavior at a girls' basketball game receive back page coverage.

A word of warning: If you see Dallas Clark at your high school gym, call the cops.

The Playmaker: Classy to the End

Speculation about reasons for ESPN terminating Michael Irvin ranges from:

-wanting to wait until the end of the season to avoid the bad publicity of letting him go during the season to punish him for the misunderstanding that took place when he was stopped and found to be in possession of a drug pipe (even though it has clearly been proven he was trying to help another person who had a drug problem) and for the misinterpretation of his good natured joke involving Tony Romo's ancestry


-the network execs feeling that his on air talent was lacking.

Whatever the case may be, Irvin has remained classy and forthright through out the ordeal.

"I truly appreciate what ESPN allowed me to do, but it was time to move on," he told the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram. "These are exciting times for me and my family. There are a lot of opportunities to explore."

We at NOIS wish Michael continued success and are sure that there has to be a network out there willing to look beyond the color of his skin and give him the chance to continue his outstanding broadcasting.

Tom Brady and His Babymama Drama

Everyone out there is probably aware of Tom Brady sowing his seed in the fertile region that is Bridget Moynahan. Things are starting to get a bit testy as the news is settling, which is going to make for some interesting babymama drama as the pregnancy rolls onward.

"It's getting nasty between New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and his pregnant ex, "Six Degrees" actress Bridget Moynahan. Pals of Brady claim Moynahan didn't bother to tell him she was announcing her pregnancy via Liz Smith's column in The Post on Sunday. "Bridget didn't even bother to tell him she was going to go public with this," said a friend. Some say that Moynahan, three months expectant with her first child, "may have gotten pregnant on purpose. She is 36, wanted a baby, and Tom was dumping her. It's a little suspicious." But a friend of Moynahan said, "Please. They dated for three years and they broke up in December - right around the time he found out she was pregnant and he immediately started dating Gisele Bundchen. Who's the gross one here?"

All you future NFL qb's out there need to follow the wise words Maury Povich shared yesterday on his show with an accused babydaddy of 3, "You really need to get some condoms, kid!"

Monday, February 19, 2007

The Interviews: First up, Deadspin's Will Leitch

Being relative newcomers to the sports blogging world, we felt that as part of our goal of achieving world sports blog domination, it would be in our best interests to do a few important things:

i) Imitate other blogs that have made a name for themselves by interviewing sports journalists (ie, thebiglead and the big picture)

ii) Gain insight into the inner minds of some of the more relevent and successful sports bloggers out there; so we can measure the competition, find their weaknesses and exploit them for the benefit of the Nation.

With that in mind, we secured a short interview with Will Leitch.

Mr. Leitch is the man behind deadspin , one of the most successful sportsblogs out there. Additionally, he has supposedly authored a few books, although we could not locate any copies at the New Africa Store of Books and Culture, so we can not confirm the veracity of his claims to being published and will assume that such intimations are simply the self aggrandizing laudings of the over inflated ego of the white male.

The actual interview (email him if you don't believe us):

1) Prior to leaving Mattoon, IL, had you ever seen a live Negro?

I had heard rumors of a Negro family in Mattoon around the turn of the century, but that had never been confirmed. I thought I had seen one at an Illinois basketball game around 1983, but it turned out it was just Lou Henson.

2) Langston Hughes is considered to be one of the great Negro writers of the past century. How has his work influenced your blogging style?

One of the keys to Hughes' genius, often forgotten by the white media, was his innovative use of hyperlinks in his later work. At the time, hyperlinking was considered only the work of the uneducated Negro and frowned upon by much of the mainstream white poetry establishment. Robert Frost, most notoriously, avoided the use of hyperlinks, instead insisting on the long-since-discredited "look over there/over there is the other story" transition. So, in this way, we are all walking in brother Langston's footprints.

3) Do you prefer collard greens or mustard grass?

Wait ... which one is more like light mayonnaise? That one.

4) You made a post in January alerting the blogosphere to the founding of NOIS. During your coverage of the Super Bowl, one of your contributors submitted a series of postings entitled "Negro Bowl": Did you feel pressured into allowing The Assimilated Negro the space on your blog to post those entries because of your awareness of the presence of the NOIS and the possible repercussions of not providing your readers the opportunity to see the word "Negro" in multiple posts? (Be honest, it is no shame to cave to the pressure of NOIS)

It is no shame, and I will not deny capitulating to the quiet but firm demands of the NOIS movement. I went about it all wrong, however; it was not until the fourth installment of The Assimilated Negro's series for us that I learned he was, in fact, a Black Man. You can understand my confusion; he's a blogger, after all. I just assumed he was white.

5) Why do you hate Negroes?

Hate is such a strong word. We fear what we do not understand, fine sirs. I eagerly await my re-education.


We decided to recap the first big weekend of the NASCAR season with coverage of the big Daytona 500.


A bunch of rednecks and a Brazilian (ed. it has been brought to our attention that it was a Colombian, not a Brazilian. Pablo Escobar is smiling down from to speak.) drove around in a circle for 3 or 4 hours.

One of the rednecks won.

More NASCAR coverage next Monday. And, we suspect, it will probably be very similar to this recap.

Caucasian NFL Players: Wrap it UP!

We at NOIS are very concerned about a burgeoning trend in the NFL: white players having children out of wedlock.

The poster boys for this trend have been Bears' linebacker Brian Urlacher and Cardinals' quarterback Matt Leinart.

Now, it looks like we can add Pats' quarterback Tom Brady to the list.

This is a disturbing trend because it sends a horribly irresponsible message to the youth that look up to these men and emulate their lifestyles. Some would ask what the big deal is, these men are extraordinarily wealthy and can certainly afford to provide for these children that they are bringing into the world. We see a deeper problem. These children will be brought into the world without a full time father figure.

We plead to the Caucasian section of the NFL: Please, wrap that up! You are creating a negative stereotype, that of the playboy white NFL'er running around town banging anything in a skirt and leaving a trail of illegitimate children in your wake.

Please, consider that the image you give the public reflects on the NFL as a whole and reflects poorly on ALL players in the league. Don't sully the reputation and image of Negroes in the NFL with your inability to keep your tool in its box and all the babymama drama that goes along with it.

Have some respect for your Negro colleagues.

Friday, February 16, 2007

HOF'er Michael Irvin Gone From ESPN?

Is the all time great wide receiver being shoved out the door by ESPN?

Is ESPN on the verge of cutting ties with NFL analyst Michael Irvin? One industry source believes the decision has already been made, and that some at the network view the outspoken Irvin as a ticking time bomb, ready to explode into a public-relations nightmare.-- New York Post

Irvin provides a wealth of insider knowledge to ESPNs NFL coverage. Additionally, he brings the street cred of 3 Super Bowl rings and a HOF election to every analytic point he shares with viewers. His realness is unparalleled in the world of ESPN.

And now, NOW you want to get rid of him? After his election to the HOF?

You didn't fire him after brushes with the law. You didn't fire him after some of his controversial statements that the mainstream media distorted and twisted and took out of context in an effort to destroy his impeccable credibility and renowned honesty and forthrightness.

But now, apparently, Mr. Irvin has committed a crime that ESPN can not overlook. Now, Mr. Irvin has taken his place with the immortals of the game; a member of eternity's All-Pro team. Enshrinement in Canton gives Mr. Irvin a currency that the likes of Tom Jackson and Ron Jawarski can't match. The point-counterpoint banter that is so common on their program would now be tipped unequivocally in Mr. Irvin's direction. Viewers would completely tune out Jaworski and the disturbingly whitish sounding Jackson, and rely on Irvin for all information and opinion. And ESPN can't have the free speaking, deep thinking Negro that is HOF'er Michael Irvin as the unquestioned face of their NFL coverage.

We urge you, ESPN: Rethink any dismissal of Michael Irvin.

It is guaranteed that the blogging world will never forgive you if you cut him loose!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

The Evilishness of Duke Lives On

While we have admiration and fraternal love for the leadership and tactical abilities of BC coach Al Skinner, we must take an objective stand on last evening's transpirings in Chestnut Hill. He didn't get the job done.

What appeared to be a mortally wounded Duke team staggered into Conte Forum, quite possibly with their season hanging in the balance.

While some BC players (we're looking at YOU, Dudley) groused about the officiating after the game; we at NOIS can not concur. Duke gets the calls. You know this going in, to complain about it as if it is some kind of revelation or unusual circumstance after the game is a waste of breath and voice. Duke is an instrument of the devil. Certain chips are stacked in their favor, and it is overcoming these stacked chips that makes beating Duke a righteous and just achievement. Duke is an earthly test of faith and devotion to the Creator. And right now, we imagine that Al Skinner and his battle weary cavalry are questioning their faith.

Down by as many as 24, the Eagles mustered their strength and fought back to six with just under 2 minutes to go. It looked like coach KKK's serpent head would be severed from his vile body. But, alas, it was not to be.

The battle of righteousness against Dukeatory rages on. But fate has provided the opportunity for the Tribe of Shabazz to finish the job. Coach KKK will face 3 consecutive Negro coaches. Hewitt, Purnell and Roberts (St. John's) will have the chance to repudiate Dukedom and stand atop the headless corpse of the beast that is coach KKK.

Although the demons in Dukeatory have regrouped, we thank Skinner and his young men for never quitting. And we hope that undying effort expended against Duke sapped some strength from the devil.

Paul Hewitt, your troops were successful earlier this year. We call on you to double your efforts and slay the beast! The devil shows himself in many forms, let us once and for all exercise the dark lord from the ACC.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition: A Negress on Her Knees and Some Negroes to Carry Around the White Girl

We received an email today bringing our attention to something we rarely bother with: Sports Illustrated.

In their annual homage to the lonely, sexually frustrated male; SI has unveiled this years edition of the swimsuit issue.

And on the cover is Beyonce. On her knees. Bowing down before the white male oriented readership of this soft porn peddling "sports" magazine.

Now, we would be willing (almost willing, anyway) to accept the young Negress in such a pose. One can claim artistic license, we suppose. But SI took that license too far in another picture. And it is THAT other picture which, when linked to Beyonce bowing down to the white male readers on the cover, makes clear SI's intention of degrading the Tribe of Shabazz.

Those are members of Grambling's marching band. One of the proudest traditions of HBCU's is that of the marching band. Many of the annual clashes on the gridiron between HBCU's focus on the battle of the bands during the halftime show. And here, here we have proud members of the Grambling band forced to put down their instruments and carry some rail thin white chick. Is she too lazy to stand? Can't she get down on her knees like Beyonce? Nope. Instead let's make the Negroes carry her anorexic ass around town.

What? You are a proud percussionist or tuba player? Excellent, you are used to carrying dead weight. Grab a thigh!

Brothers and Sisters this is one of the most heinous slights against a proud Negro tradition that we have yet witnessed. Using the Pride of Grambling's bandmembers to hoist up and virtually genuflect to a bullemic white girl is the ultimate slap in the face to HBCU's every where.

How the hell are our young Negro band members supposed to "break it down" while marching around carrying Snow White?

If Sports Illustrated actually cared about Negro traditions and HBCU's, they would have had the band carrying this:

Now, an ass like that REQUIRES a marching band to carry it around!

Bring it Home: Scoop Makes Diamonds

Scoop Jackson has had the literary world on lock for round about 15 years or so. Dropping knowledge in the form of unsung lyrics. Imagery and realness combined for a poetic effect that has been the key factor in keeping ESPN's Page 2 alive and kicking. Mr. Jackson has been able to blend sports, pop culture and his always informed and well thought out opinions together to produce columns and essays that invite the reader to go back time and again; always finding something new and revealing hidden in the word play.

His breadth of diverse knowledge covers an unparalleled expertise of hoops to football to politics to tennis. The ability to harness an urban slant and energy in his work is what keeps the masses hungering for more. We get enough white bread J-school columnists giving us the suburban crickety-cracker outlook on sports and culture. Yeah, we get it: White cats that can't play sports love to read about sports when it is written by other white cats that can't play. Well, there is an entire culture out there that CAN play sports and wants to read about the dynamic mixture of sports and THEIR culture by someone that can relate on a cultural level with the athletes. Without Scoop, this would not have been possible. And without Scoop, Page 2 would probably not exist.

We don't care about whether or not the characters on "The OC" can be compared to this year's New England Patriots. We don't care whether the columnist's wife thinks Sienna Miller is a trollop. We don't want to read the columnist flip flop week to week on Rex Grossman. First half of the season you love him. Then you hate him. Then you think he will be OK in the Super Bowl. Then you hate him again. No wonder some columnists get called "fags" by angry managers. When you are fickle and whiny and act like a chick, what do you want to be called?

Thank goodness we can always retreat to Page 2 and find the latest Scoop contribution and forget all that foolishness out there. We find creative and breath taking wordplay. The ability to serenade us and open our minds, but without the preachy in your face self aggrandizing style of the typical small minded columnist, is what really sets Scoop apart. And the realness of his words. Scoop writes as we talk. You feel as if Scoop is talking directly to the People. It's a realness that can't be faked. Other columnists front and attempt to enter Scoop's world, but there is only room for Scoop and his readers in that world.

His connection with his readers and his perch atop the world of sports columnists is something that breeds contempt and jealousy in many of his peers (using that term in the loosest interpretation). The jealousy it bred in one of those columnists lead to a written undressing for the ages. Scoop literally pulled the man's pants down and exposed his shortcomings for the world to see. All the result of residual bitterness at Page 2's commitment to constructing their product around the Scoop Jackson brand.

And now Scoop is getting his due hosting one of the hottest and most brilliant premises in the realm of reality TV. "Bring It Home" is the latest and greatest mixing of culture and sports, tracing the journey of eight young gamers and their quest for the $100K prize. The show humanizes the world of gaming and allows us to see the inner workings of a subculture which is flourishing around the nation.

Scoop on the show:

"On the prep for the first episode, I kept hearing about Chaz. Everybody loved Chaz. They said his skills were supreme. That he might go through the series undefeated. I heard about Jordan, heard he was the No. 1 ranked player in the world and his twin brother was like ranked No. 3. From the get up, the buzz was about these two being in the Finals. In my mind I was like, "I've seen some sic dudes at this, but pressure busts pipes." $100G's is a lot of cake. I knew someone was going to fold."

Now read that again.

This show presents a unique opportunity for Scoop fans, Page 2 fans, sports fans and gaming fans. We are blessed with not just the chance to watch Scoop interact with the young upstart celebs on the show and make his commentary. We also get the chance to read about the goings on behind the scenes and get an intimate take on things through Scoop's poetic verses.

We urge you to watch the show and follow Scoop's columns and blogs about it. It may well change your life.

Like Scoop said, "Pressure busts pipes."

But pressure also makes diamonds. Get ya bling on, ya'll!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Duke: The Kingdom Burns

A few weeks ago, Coach KKK and his fellow "clansman" (disclaimer for the hypersensitive: we use the term symbolically, we have no evidence that either Coach KKK or the time keeper hold membership in any Klan) operating the time clock held what was tantamount to the public lynching of Oliver Purnell and his Clemson Tigers. The friendly confines of Kameron Indoor acted as a gallows for Purnell and his young Tigers, as victory was held out in front of them, and then snatched away by the devious machinations of the devil incarnate and his dark legions on Coach KKK Kourt.

Three days later, Negro coach Al Skinner brought his BC Eagles into Kameron, and they, too, were slain by the evil wielding Coach KKK and his hooded mob. The lynch mob (known as the Kameron Krazies) delighted in the public splaying of Skinner and his troops, taking exuberant joy in the pained expressions embedded in the noble BC coach's face.

We hope you enjoyed those victorious battles, you hateful entities, for the war is now being take from you.

The evilishness in Durham is in the midst of reciprocation for their crimes against the Original coaches. The young, scarred souls that devote their energy and allegiance to supporting and proliferating the cruel intentions of Coach KKK and his White Blue Devils are now reeling. Confronted with the reality that all that the program (built with smoke and mirrors on a bed of sand) stands for is in the midst of being destroyed by the benevolent protector of mankind.

Enter Dave Leitao and his UVA team. The first Negro coach of the flagship school of one of the original slave states, Mr. Leitao and his soldiers were confronted with the task of defending their Charlottesville homestead from the hoard of invading White Blue Devils and their demonic embodiment of a coach.

And defend righteousness, they did! Without the benefit of a clock controlling henchman, Coach KKK and his team of undeads were unable to pull out a last second blight against Original humanity. This was not simply a victory of good over evil; it was the first volley levied against the cruel aspirations of Dukedom, and may well have initiated the damning of Coach KKK's season.

The follow up skirmish was conducted under the generalship of Negro FSU coach Leonard Hamilton. The brave coach was asked to launch an offensive into Dukeatory; into the belly of the beast. The angry mob whipped itself into a frenzy in the stands, with visions of exacting revenge against Original coaches dancing in their tainted minds.

In a replay of the Glorious Stand in UVA-land, Hamilton's believers held fast and dealt what will be remembered as the blow that let Coach KKK's wounds. Yes, that pallid skin now seeps watery blue blood. And despite the friendly confines and evil fires that burn in the bowels of Dukeatory, the White Blue Devils were unable to rely on the misguided intentions of the timekeeper to belay the Seminole victory.

Coach KKK's unsuccessful back to back attacks on Negro ACC coaches left his army of living corpses physically weakened and mentally beaten. A squad of soulless heathens left in tatters to regroup for their next blasphemous undertaking.

The back to back defeats at the hands of Original coaches opened the door for Roy Williams to lead his righteous and Shabazz friendly Tarheels into Cameron.

Summoning all the power that the devil could lend, Coach KKK's goblins roared to a halftime lead. And looked to be in position to deal the Tarheels and prosperity a hateful and vengeful blow.

Lo and Behold, the righteous protector filled the body of Roy Williams with the love and power necessary to guide his band of do-gooders to victory! All praise the mighty power!

Blue blood stained the court, the stands and it flooded Krzyzewskiville; drowning the demonic legions in the blood of their false deity. The stage was set for what will be remembered as the final undoing of the season. The road defeat which would once and for all put out the evil fires that burn in Dukeatory.

Gary Williams would benefit from the blood flow and wounds that were initiated in the defense of Charlottesville and were permanently opened by the two successful seiges layed against Kameron Inferno.

In a pitiful display, the White Blue Devils showed the world that their spirit was broken. That despite the lashing and prodding administered by Coach KKK, they no longer had the heart to fight on in the name of hellish Dukeness. The dragon is clearly slain.

Now, fallen from the Top 25 for the first time in over a decade, the evil minions in Dukeatory lick their wounds. Faced with a difficult road schedule, they now await their sentencing for past sins.

In this world, righteousness will prevail and the White Blue Devils will receive their sentencing to purgatory: in the form of an invite to the NIT.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Gays In Sports: Get A Grip

The coming out of former NBA also ran John Amaechi has brought a lot of attention to the topic of gays in sports. Most media outlets are running columns essentially saying that in the year 2007 it shouldn't be an issue, athletes shouldn't care whether teamates chase tail; or whether teamates chase TAIL.

John Amaechi? Who cares about the sexual preferences of an NBA no-namer years after he played? The casual fan doesn't remember Amaechi anyway.

At NOIS, we don't particularly care one way or the other about queers. Our only concern is that the current political climate is allowing the plight of gays to be associated with and treated as congruous to the plight of the Negro. Equating falsely named "homophobia" with racism is at best a reach, and at worst an effort to degrade the efforts of improved civil rights made and being fought for against racism.

Watch the news. The new move du jour is to vilify the word "faggot" by referring to it as the "f word". Just like "nigger" and the "n word".

And this is the point that we DO have a problem with gays.

The idea that a person's lifestyle and sexual CHOICE is equivalent to being born into a racist society because your Tribe was forcibly treated as a trade commodity and then institutionally battered is something that should anger everyone. Not just Negroes.

The bottom line is simple: Trying to force people to accept gays and treat them with reverence is asking people to modify their morals and values. It is asking people to change their moral view on sexual preference. Asking people to accept Negroes and treat them as equals is not a matter of forcing people to change their moral views on another's lifestyle CHOICE or preference.

With that in mind, we support the right of the NBA players to (when asked about this topic) say that they are not thrilled with sharing a locker room with gay players. It is their right to have these views. This is not the same as hating someone because of the race they were BORN into, this is simply having a discrepency with a person's lifestyle CHOICE. And as US citizens, we have that right.

Let's remember, the ONLY "f word" is fuck.

Oh, and to be clear John Amaechi is a faggot.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

Rush Limbaugh: Another Angry Fatty

Perusal of deadspin gave us this post.

Essentially, the bloated and drug addled Rush Limbaugh has come to the conclusion that the media is out to destroy Rex Grossman. The media has converged over him like buzzards, waiting for him to fall so they can pick apart his bones. And why? Because Rex is WHITE.

"The media, the sports media, has got social concerns that they are first and foremost interested in, and they're dumping on this guy -- Rex Grossman -- for one reason, folks, and that's because he is a white quarterback. "

Yes, folks, the media is trying to run Rex out of the NFL because he is white. And lordy knows the white media hates them a cracker QB! Just ask Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Drew Brees or any of the other numerous white QB's that have been the victims of this white QB backlash prior to the media turning their ire toward poor, unassuming Rex.

At least the pasty fleshed windbag that is Rush Limbaugh blames the media and not Negro Coach Lovie Smith. But, one supposes that after the turd sandwich Limbaugh was forced to eat after he made his racist attack on Donovan McNabb, that he thought long and hard about who to blame for this attempt to disarm Rex.

"They're talking about before the game, they're talking about him as the worst quarterback ever to play in the Super Bowl and they're asking [Bears head coach] Lovie Smith all during the week, "When are you going to bench the guy, Lovie? At what point in the game?" And that's the only time Lovie Smith apparently lost his cool a little bit during the week with, with media sessions. You know what this is: The media - you, you know the social things. I don't need to go into this."

We have to agree a bit here with Rush. Just because Rex had a horrendous second half to the season, and just because the Bears won several games despite his attempts to seize defeat; that is NO reason to suggest that Rex is the worst QB ever to appear in a Super Bowl. Didn't David Woodley get behind center for the Dolphins one year?

And we have to say, Rush demonstrates his lucid thought process and eloquence in communicating those thoughts in the concluding sentence in the quote above. Indeed, we, we know exactly what you mean, need to go into this. After all, you are just trying to make a point, why elaborate and try to support it?

"CALLER: Even during the game last night. Before, before they went on the air they were all saying who they were going to pick and why and everything and when the, you know, the - they made their first runback with the score - then they started turning the tables on everything. It's like, "Now, wait a minute. I heard what you said before the game started." You know? Now they're changing tunes because --
LIMBAUGH: Well, because they're -- no -- they were all acting surprised. Everybody was acting, "Whoa. Grossman can actually complete a pass. Why nobody thought this would happen. Let's stop everything and give him the MVP now. He actually completed a pass." But he came through for them in the end. All those fumbles. The wounded-duck interceptions. He gave them the copy they wanted to write today all last week."

Nice to see that Rush's callers are as intuitive about football as Rush. And that they understand the process of making a pre-game pick. Hard to believe that folks would take into account the fact that Grossman has been less than stellar when they make their Super Bowl picks. It MUST be an effort by the media to subvert his career. And YES! That kickoff return changed everything. Would someone care to pull the caller and Rush away from their counterfeit prescription pads and let them know that the QB is not involved in a kickoff return?

"They were hoping to write that Grossman was an embarrassment and that Lovie Smith needs to seriously bring in somebody to compete with him next training camp. I can, look it, I feel for the guy. He's, apparently, bores, bears up under it rather well or has borne up under it rather well or so his teammates say and so forth. But the guy's been targeted for destruction."

Whether or not Rex is "targeted for destruction" or not, one thing is certain: HE is the one that pulled the trigger. If he hadn't fumbled those balls or thrown those interceptions at those most inopportune times, then the media wouldn't be beating him about the head and shoulders with their pens and laptops.

Two things are clear:

i) Limbaugh and his band of dittoheads understand little about football.

ii) This is the feeble attempt of a cloudy, possibly drug and cheese fry fueled mind, to counter the evidentiary propositions that racism directed against Negroes exists in sports.

Rush is making a weak and inept attempt to usurp the validity of the Negro argument by making a mockery of race in sport. By making his claims that a critical light is shined on Rex because he is white, Rush knows that anyone that is not addicted to oxycontin and all you can eat buffets will have the good sense to brush it off as a ludicrous claim. His desire is that people will also connect other race issues to such claims and brush them off also. The disturbed thought process being: If it is silly to suggest that Rex is under duress for being white, then it is silly to suggest that Negro QB's are persecuted for being Negro.

When Rex is locked out of his training and work facilities. Call us.

When Rex is convicted by the media of trying to transport drugs on an airplane (and then later cleared of wrong doing, but you know, the media doesn't hype THAT part of the story). Call us.

When Rex's off the field escapades the night before a big game aren't safeguarded and kept out of the mainstream media. Call us.

Until then, Mr. Limbaugh, you stick to licking those empty prescription bottles clean and filling that pie hole of yours with gooey chocolate treats. WE'LL DECIDE what the media's intentions are as far as race is concerned! After all, we ARE the experts.

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Sign 'Em Up!

We receive emails by the hundreds, which is part of the reason it is taking so long to put together our "mailbag"-esque post, but today we received one that brought our attention to something that we haven't given enough time to: National Letter of Intent Day.

The email:

Letter of Intent Day, also known as the day when thousands of young black men sign their lives away for free for universities that would have nothing to do with them if they couldn't run, block or tackle.

Our concerned reader dropped us this message, we suppose, to remind us of the harvest that big time colleges are conducting right now. And we appreciate the reminder.

Today is the day that Ron Zook gets credit for somehow convincing a renowned class of predominantly Negro young men to come follow him at Illinois, when just a few years ago all UIUC could attract was maybe a white wide out with the speed of a 12 year old girl with a club foot. A day when Pete Carrol fills his ranks with more warriors to continue the string of success that has filled his pockets with gold and left a path of broken dreams for many of the young Negroes that followed his empty promises. A day when Nick Saban begins to rebuild that bastion of prejudice at the Capstone by filling the roster with healthy, athletic Negroes who are despised by the entire 'Bama red neck community, save for those 60 minutes on fall Saturdays. A day when Duke coach Ted Roof fills his roster with fodder for VaTech, Miami, FSU, Clemson, BC and pretty much everyone else on the schedule and wonders when the hell Duke will fire him so he can get a payout on that contract and get the hell out of Durham.

Yes, it is the Port of Charleston in 1837, but the slaves aren't delivered by ships. They are delivered over fax machines. Indentured servants. Signing their lives away for up to 5 years in the hopes of receiving a solid education and an equal chance. Minds filled with the prospect of attending classes at major universities and studying under some of the great thinkers that academia has to offer. Or participating in the joy and wonder that make up the college experience. Falling in love with that cute co-ed. Joining a fraternity and frollicking with their brothers. Going to lectures given by the great orators and personalities of our day. Spending time in some of the most voluminous and magnificent libraries the world has to offer. Quenching their thirst for knowledge. These are the dreams of the young Negro football signee.

And that is often what they stay: dreams.

When the young Negro arrives on campus, bright eyed and brimming with anxious excitement to begin his course of study; more often than not the first thing that he encounters is being fitted for his chains. In the form of his football gear. Long before he receives his books and laptop, he is sized for his helmet and pads. Intentions now become clear.

The young Negro is introduced to his "academic advisers", and begins the task of assembling a course of study.

"What, you want to major in astro-physics? Son, that will take up a lot of time to study and the afternoon labs conflict with the practice schedule. How 'bout we get you started in general studies and then in two years we declare you a "recreation management" major, ok? You want a full load of 15 credits? Well, you only need 6 to be eligible to play, so we will just sign you up for that. Now get to the fieldhouse and change into your practice gear."

And suddenly, all illusions are shattered. The true intentions have been layed out for the young Negro to see. Education and the college experience were the bait. The chains of the grid iron is the switch.

The reality is that the young Negro athlete is just as culpable for his fate in this as the institutes of "higher learning" that have duped them. All people have the responsibility to question intentions when they are signing into anything. If these young men did more questioning, the motives and eventual outcomes would become clear to them.

Why would an institute that constructs walls to keep young Negroes out invite them to come get an education for free? Why would an institute that develops tests that are designed to be culturally biased against the Negro, in the hopes of keeping him out, invite them to come for free? Why would institutes in the South that have buildings and dorms named after Confederate Generals and former KKK Wizards invite young Negroes to come learn and live in them?

The reality is this: The only schools that the young Negro can trust are the HBCU's.

It is high time that Howard University became the football equivalent of USC, OSU and Florida all rolled into one. We invite our young Negro athletes to contemplate attending a university that would have THEIR best interest at heart. And not be worried about pleasing a bunch of old white men by providing a winning football team so they will open their change purses and parcel out the money needed to fund the university and continue this vicious assault against Negro football signees.

We beseech our young Brothers to stop making Ron Zook look like a recruiting mastermind. We are here to tell you that he is fooling you. He REALLY is an uptight white guy.

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

The Playmaker: Haters Wanna Hate

Michael Irvin. One of the all time great game day players. A champion and leader on the field. Exhibiting pride and character with every route run and every block thrown. Giving all he had for the team. Maximum effort on every play. A career finally rewarded with a bronze statue and yellow blazer. The Playmaker is going to Canton.

How can anyone dispute his worthiness? An integral part of 3 Super Bowl winning teams. His stats, though excellent, don't accurately reflect his worth to his team and the important role he played on those teams. Yet, some columnists have been spewing bile and vitriol at Irvin's election. Angrily and self righteously proclaiming that because Michael lived life in the fast lane he didn't deserve to be in the Hall.

To those columnists, we can only say that the precedent has already been set. As long as Lawrence Taylor is in, trying to bar some one's entry because they had a taste for wine, women and neck bone (so to speak) is a losing proposition.

We've read Jason Whitlock's columns castigating Irvin and labelling him a "bo-jangler". Making fun of Mr. Irvin's flamboyant style and taste for fine (if somewhat gaudy) dress attire. Belittling Irvin's analytical skills and taking every opportunity to try and contradict what Irvin says.

So, it's easy to see that Irvin's election frustrates and angers someone like Whitlock. You know Whitlock. Mr. Real Talk. The Ovah Weight Lovah. The man who revels in his own Negro-ness by taking the time to point out those he deems to be too Negro. Might it be that Irvin's comfort in his skin reminds Mr. Whitlock how much he hates himself being a Negro? Might Mr. Whitlock's taunts of "bojangler!" really be veiled admissions of self loathing?

Irvin reached the pinnacle of his profession and is being immortalized. Whitlock will be quickly forgotten when hypertension, diabetes, heart disease or some other malady related to his love of soul food and fat belly cuts his career and life short. He will be lowered into the ground in a piano case sized casket by a small crane and covered in dirt. In contrast, children for generations will pay homage at Canton to the legend of the Playmaker.

We suspect that any "bo jangler" would happily dance on that grave (it certainly will be the size of a dance floor).

Other columnists quickly began whining and crying about their beloved Art Monk being left out. To their thinking, it was unfair for Irvin to get in and Monk to be left out. Monk had better stats (albeit in over 60 more games) and he wears a few rings on his fingers. Plus, he was a gentleman. And according to them, Irvin was not. But in the highly subjective world of Hall of Fame voting, why does Irvin's election have any connection whatsoever to Monk's inability to garner the requisite votes for entry?

A lot of players were class acts, put up nice stats and won a ring or two. But, a lot of those same players were not the foundation upon which the championships were built. And that is Monk. A guy that kept his nose clean off the field and put up nice stats on the field. But take him away, and chances are those 'Skins teams still win Lombardi Trophies. Take away the Playmaker? Well, those Cowboys teams might have won a Trophy and had some deep playoff runs, but would certainly not be considered one of the greatest "dynasties" of all time.

And that is why Michael Irvin is now "Hall of Famer" Michael Irvin. We hope Michael celebrated the news by heading over to Bo Jangle's for some chicken. He deserves it.

The NFL Experience: It's CrapTastic

As we indicated in a previous post, we headed down to Miami this weekend past to enjoy the festivities that make-up the Super Bowl (or, as we like to call it, the White NBA All-Star Game...screw you, Bill Simmons).

One of the wonderful events that the NFL provides for fans is the NFL Experience. A cavalcade of games, clinics, events, displays and exhibits; all provided by wonderful NFL sponsors for fan enjoyment. Tickets were a modest $15 for adults and $10 for kids. Basically, this is something for the local fan that can't afford tickets to the game. So, obviously, in Miami it meant that the crowd was essentially a third world kind of crowd. Now, before you press the button to publish your comment calling us names, we simply described it as such to offer a fair and honest descriptive of who was there.

One of the most interesting aspects of the event was the presence of an ungodly number of scalpers. Now, understand: Tickets were on sale there for $15 and $10 and there was NO shortage of tickets at the gate. Yet, on every corner during the safari like trek from the far off land of parking to the gate, groups of men would ask if you wanted to buy or sell tickets. And no, they weren't talking about tickets to the game, they were talking about tickets to the NFL Experience. We had tickets waiting for us at Will Call, and after I picked them up and took a few steps with the envelope full of tickets, I was swarmed by scalpers asking if I wanted to sell them. After dusting off the arm of my FUBU sweat jacket (one of the seedier types had put his dirty hand on me), I cordially invited the entrepreneurs to get the fuck away from me.

If anyone out there can tell us HOW these folks made money buying and selling tickets to this particular event (when they were onsale right there), please leave a comment and let us know. We aren't particularly business minded and just can't figure this out.

After walking through security at the main gate, we entered a realm that had all the atmosphere and trappings of a State Fair. On display was a nice mix of 3/5 dregs of society, 1/5 normal folks, and 1/5 folks too good for the rest. Throw in long lines, a disappointing array of NFL "stars" doing the meet and greet thing, unruly children all around (but just out of kicking distance) and being subjected to unnatural amounts of sponsor marketing; and you have the NFL Experience. Oh, and lines. The longest lines you can imagine. And they move slowly. Very slowly. So, if what the NFL is all about is standing in one spot for extended periods of time, I'm ready to play middle linebacker for the Steelers, 'cause I am now Experienced.

Now, we understand, tickets were a measly $15 and there were ton of people there. Obviously, long lines would be expected and those lines moving at a snails pace at activities being run by (trained?) volunteers would be the order of the day. But what was maddening was this: The event handlers were able to figure out how to keep the long lines moving at the booths and activities that you had to PAY for. Basically, anything that didn't involve a further remuneration for the NFL, you stood and waited for hours on end. Anything that required you to dip further down into your pocket, the line kept on moving. Thanks NFL! You guys rock!

For anyone that was in the market for a Charles Fasano, Nick Sorenson, Kevin Bullock or Akin Ayodele autograph, and willing to wait for an hour or so, you came to the right place. The excitement at the autograph areas was palpable. Well, if palpable means a bunch of people walking by, asking who was there, looking at the line and saying, "They are waiting for WHO'S autograph????"

And then we stumbled across it. A throng of people pressed up against a small stage. A fat, white dude with a microphone talking to the crowd. And a few young Negroes sitting behind a table on the stage holding cell phones. It was the "Sprint Phone a Friend". Javon Walker and Darren Sharper (wait, what the...we have actually heard of them...) were sitting on the stage, as the fat, white cat with the mike "entertained" the crowd, making phone calls for people. Basically, you wait in line for two hours and have them call a friend and say, "Hi, this is Javon Walker of the Denver Broncos, your friend is here in Miami for Super Bowl weekend and wanted me to call you and let you know that they are better than you." How Walker and Sharper got roped into that event is beyond me. They looked miserable. We actually felt bad for them.

As we beat a path toward the exit, we came across a fenced in area with folks pressed all up against it trying to get a look past the fence. Upon closer inspection, it was a rehearsal for the commentary crew of Marino, Esiason and Sharpe. The Miami crowd was going nuts for Marino, but we couldn't take our eyes off Shannon Sharpe. The guy is in phenomenal shape, but that isn't it. Remember a few years ago prior to the Bronco's playing in that second straight Super Bowl; I can't remember who on the opposing team made the comment about Sharpe. But, they said "He looks like Mr. Ed, I keep waiting for him to go BRRRRRR, Wilbur". Well, we can confirm in person: Sharpe has the body of Zulu warrior, attached to the head of Zebra.

And that folks, is the NFL Experience. We headed back to the hotel to change into some fresh gear and get ready for the PepsiSmash concert.

Monday, February 5, 2007

What The?

Before we make our post about Super Bowl weekend, we have to comment on something.

We here at NOIS often check this blog to see from where people come to visit us. For instance, if deadspin links to us, our referral log will show us how many people come from there.

Upon checking today, the number one referral to our site was people doing google searches for "tony dungy mulatto" or "tony dungy white parents".

What the HELL is wrong with you people?

Seriously, this is one of the most obscene things we have ever witnessed. Finally a Negro man has reached the top of the NFL. And what does the white devil do? Runs out to try to find a way to claim he is white. Scouring the internet to find some information upon which they can say, "Well, Tony Dungy has some white in him."

How DARE you!

Mr. Dungy has been treated as a Negro man his ENTIRE life. A victim of all that any Negro man in this country is subjected to: racism, prejudice, hatred, negative stereotypes, vicious name calling and restaurants not having hot sauce. And NOW, now that he can claim the title of "Greatest Coach of All Time", NOW you try to gather the ammunition to make your claim that he is really white?

Why were you not claiming he was white as a student at University of Minnesota? Why were not claiming he was white when he was wearing a Steelers' uniform as a spot playing defensive back? Why were you not claiming he was white when he was a nameless assistant? Why were redneck Tampa Bay fans referring to him with the n-word before he turned things there around?

How dare you!

Allow the man and the rest of his Tribe the chance to enjoy the accomplishment and success he has work so hard for before you start to sulley his good race with your impudent google searches and maniacal efforts to erase the first Super Bowl victory by a Negro coach.

Normally, the joke goes that the NFL stands for the "Not For Long" league because as soon as you win people start asking about next year. But this "not for long" is something even more sinister and apparantly more organized.

Your google searches will change NOTHING. Tony Dungy is Negro and proud. Now say it out loud! No justice, No peace! Ok, we digress, but you have us steamed!

Friday, February 2, 2007

Goin' To Miami...Miami...Miami

Well, we are getting ready to head to the MIA.

Will be out and about tonight and the rest of the weekend and at the game.

Hopefully will have some nice pics to post when we get back.

Enjoy the game.

ESPN.COM: Silencing the Masses

It came to our attention that was allowing commentary on their site. We felt it would be a good platform to participate and even get a Super Bowl pick out there.

However, we found out first hand the repressive regime that is ESPN has no intention of allowing truthful and honest commentary on their site. And it begs the question, if we weren't NOIS, would they have deleted our post? Over 1,000 posts are there, yet one posted by NOIS was deleted post haste by the little alibaster hands of some cyber stormtrooper. This is what we posted, who on earth would this offend?


I made a bet with my wife that if she sold more bean pies than I did this week, I'd let her have some space on my comment here. Well, she won. So I pass her the keyboard.

Gurl, I swear, all my man wanna do is make posts on his blog 'bout sports goings-on. Sports! Gurl, I gots needs. MAD needs, if ya feel me. And this man wanna be typing all the time. Mama gone lose her mind. Anyway, gurlfriend, you see Tyra Banks? How much weight she put on? But ya know what, she need some meat on dem bones. A grown woman got meat on her, am I right? Fa'sho! Now, ya'll need to go ahead and take the Bears and the points this weekend. That Peyton Manning child has him a funny, long neck. The last time a QB was playing in the Super Bowl with a funny, long neck....was Steve Grogan...and he got his azz beat the Bears.