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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Duke: The Kingdom Burns

A few weeks ago, Coach KKK and his fellow "clansman" (disclaimer for the hypersensitive: we use the term symbolically, we have no evidence that either Coach KKK or the time keeper hold membership in any Klan) operating the time clock held what was tantamount to the public lynching of Oliver Purnell and his Clemson Tigers. The friendly confines of Kameron Indoor acted as a gallows for Purnell and his young Tigers, as victory was held out in front of them, and then snatched away by the devious machinations of the devil incarnate and his dark legions on Coach KKK Kourt.

Three days later, Negro coach Al Skinner brought his BC Eagles into Kameron, and they, too, were slain by the evil wielding Coach KKK and his hooded mob. The lynch mob (known as the Kameron Krazies) delighted in the public splaying of Skinner and his troops, taking exuberant joy in the pained expressions embedded in the noble BC coach's face.

We hope you enjoyed those victorious battles, you hateful entities, for the war is now being take from you.

The evilishness in Durham is in the midst of reciprocation for their crimes against the Original coaches. The young, scarred souls that devote their energy and allegiance to supporting and proliferating the cruel intentions of Coach KKK and his White Blue Devils are now reeling. Confronted with the reality that all that the program (built with smoke and mirrors on a bed of sand) stands for is in the midst of being destroyed by the benevolent protector of mankind.

Enter Dave Leitao and his UVA team. The first Negro coach of the flagship school of one of the original slave states, Mr. Leitao and his soldiers were confronted with the task of defending their Charlottesville homestead from the hoard of invading White Blue Devils and their demonic embodiment of a coach.

And defend righteousness, they did! Without the benefit of a clock controlling henchman, Coach KKK and his team of undeads were unable to pull out a last second blight against Original humanity. This was not simply a victory of good over evil; it was the first volley levied against the cruel aspirations of Dukedom, and may well have initiated the damning of Coach KKK's season.

The follow up skirmish was conducted under the generalship of Negro FSU coach Leonard Hamilton. The brave coach was asked to launch an offensive into Dukeatory; into the belly of the beast. The angry mob whipped itself into a frenzy in the stands, with visions of exacting revenge against Original coaches dancing in their tainted minds.

In a replay of the Glorious Stand in UVA-land, Hamilton's believers held fast and dealt what will be remembered as the blow that let Coach KKK's wounds. Yes, that pallid skin now seeps watery blue blood. And despite the friendly confines and evil fires that burn in the bowels of Dukeatory, the White Blue Devils were unable to rely on the misguided intentions of the timekeeper to belay the Seminole victory.

Coach KKK's unsuccessful back to back attacks on Negro ACC coaches left his army of living corpses physically weakened and mentally beaten. A squad of soulless heathens left in tatters to regroup for their next blasphemous undertaking.

The back to back defeats at the hands of Original coaches opened the door for Roy Williams to lead his righteous and Shabazz friendly Tarheels into Cameron.

Summoning all the power that the devil could lend, Coach KKK's goblins roared to a halftime lead. And looked to be in position to deal the Tarheels and prosperity a hateful and vengeful blow.

Lo and Behold, the righteous protector filled the body of Roy Williams with the love and power necessary to guide his band of do-gooders to victory! All praise the mighty power!

Blue blood stained the court, the stands and it flooded Krzyzewskiville; drowning the demonic legions in the blood of their false deity. The stage was set for what will be remembered as the final undoing of the season. The road defeat which would once and for all put out the evil fires that burn in Dukeatory.

Gary Williams would benefit from the blood flow and wounds that were initiated in the defense of Charlottesville and were permanently opened by the two successful seiges layed against Kameron Inferno.

In a pitiful display, the White Blue Devils showed the world that their spirit was broken. That despite the lashing and prodding administered by Coach KKK, they no longer had the heart to fight on in the name of hellish Dukeness. The dragon is clearly slain.

Now, fallen from the Top 25 for the first time in over a decade, the evil minions in Dukeatory lick their wounds. Faced with a difficult road schedule, they now await their sentencing for past sins.

In this world, righteousness will prevail and the White Blue Devils will receive their sentencing to purgatory: in the form of an invite to the NIT.


Anonymous said...

or maybe, duke just isn't that good this year.

Anonymous said...

I would tell ya tell to lay off the pipe, but it's too damn entertaining.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"too damn entertaining."

Sir, we must admit, that we (just like you) take great pleasure in Coach KKK's recent period of frustration.

Let's start a pool: When do you think KKK will enter ummm...we mean, when do you think his back will give out and he will pin the rest of the umm..we mean, rely on Johnny Dawkins to guide the Dukies to schedule's completion?

We think his back (wink, wink) will lock up the night before the trip down 15-501 to Chapel Hill.

Anonymous said...

That's the second reference you've made to the triangle, are you a UNC grad? That would explain the drug use, and the bitterness.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"That's the second reference you've made to the triangle, are you a UNC grad?"

Sir, we are graduates of the teachings of the Prophet Elijah Muhammed. His omnipotence and influence certainly has inundated the hallowed halls of higher learning on all college campuses. That being the case, we certainly could be considered graduates of UNC.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

drive a stake through coach k's heart!

Anonymous said...

coach k is sexy, in an osama bin laden kind of way. i'd blow them both.



nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"coach k is sexy, in an osama bin laden kind of way. i'd blow them both."

Ma'am, you will have to settle for Osama. Coach KKK "manhood" is permanently housed in Dickie V's cockholster mouth.

Anonymous said...

Oh yea, you're a UNC boy alright. I didn't know they taught you how to use computers over there. What did they do, queeeze it in after
Pizza Delivery Boy 101?

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"I didn't know they taught you how to use computers over there."

Sir, I remind you: You are a Duke FAN, not an Alumn.

Let's not throw stones at one of the top state universities in the country when you have an A.S. from Durham Tech on your wall, ok?

Anonymous said...

I don't know if Steve is an alumnus or not. I do know that I am. And from my perch let me say, "Sir, you are a hating dumbass." Oh, and I want extra pepperoni on that.

Seriously, you are a discredit to your alma mater. OK, I'll help you out...that means the school you attended.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"And from my perch "

Sir, a perch is an excellent location for a cackling parrot that simply blurts out the retreaded musings of others.

And we congratulate you: you are the supreme credit to YOUR alma mater. An entitled, white bread sycophant of coach KKK with a crusty chin and mouth housing the short curly leftovers of your interactions with said coach. Swallow, it will sooth your burning throat.