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Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Negro Coach and QB Poll: Expanded

We have been on a European sabbatical, priming the alabaster enclaves of Northern Europe for eventual take over by the soon to be new Leader of the Free World (using the term 'free' in the most loose fitting manner possible).

Our return coincides with two completed weeks of college football. Which, in turn, requires the first edition of our vaunted Negro Coach and QB Poll (NCQB). Certainly, those who followed the rankings last year saw us spot on with LSU riding the top of the wave for most of the season.

In an effort to be more inclusive and more diverse, we have decided that it is in the best interest of everyone to expand the teams eligible for the rankings.

In that light, we will now include the full constituency of our soon to be President (Halfrican-American Barry Obama).

The poll will still be called the Negro Coach and QB Poll, in honor of all those who fought so valiantly for the right to be included in our rankings last season. Only this time, all NCCA D1 teams will be eligible to receive votes.

All teams, that is, that have either a Negro Coach or QB, Latino coach or QB or a non-white coach or QB.

Change you can believe in!

10 Ball State -The Ballers are 2-0 with convincing wins over Northeastern and Navy. Tremendously gifted QB, Nate Davis, has completed 80% of his passes for 7 TDs and is averaging over 300 yards per game. If the Cardinals can get past Akron in their next game, that will set up a showdown with #9 Indiana in two weekends.

9 Indiana - The Hoosiers are sitting pretty at the top of the Big Ten with blowouts over Murray State and Western Kentucky. Dual threat QB Kellen Lewis has thrown for 2 TDs and rushed for 2 TDs. He is also averaging over 18 yards per rush. Tim who? Next up for IU will be the chance to be fully vetted in a showdown with #10 Ball State...and then on to the Big Ten schedule!

8 Arizona - Willie Tuitama has completed 77% of his passes for almost 500 yards and 0 interceptions. A 70-0 victory of Idaho proves that these Wildcats are back in full force! Next up, a border state showdown with New Mexico.

7 Georgia Tech - QB Josh Nesbitt has rushed for 3 TDs and his leadership has lead to an undefeated start and sole possession of first in the ACC's hotly contested Coastal Division. Up next is a vulnerable looking Virginia Tech.

6 West Virginia - After a sharp performance against always stout Villanova, WVU ran into possibly the best defensive squad in the country. And came out the worse for the wear. Despite the loss, Pat White has completed 70% of his passes for 5 TDs. He is also averaging 80 yards rushing per game. We believe the 'Eers are better than they showed against a supremely motivated and confident ECU squad, and will give them the chance to prove it against Colorado before we significantly drop them in the rankings.

5 Illinois - Another one loss squad in the top 10. But, the barn burner against Missouri could have gone either way and this early in the season should not weigh heavily against Juice Williams and his Illini. Williams has thrown for 6 TDs and has a lofty 152.4 QB rating. Add to that over 90 rushing yards per game and 2 rushing TDs....and you have to ask yourself: Why is anyone paying attention to Tim Tebow?

4 Oregon - Projected started Nate Costa is out for the season. But, in the newer, inclusiver NCQB Poll, that still qualifies the Ducks to be ranked. Wins over Washington and Utah State have eased the learning curve for the QB who is replacing all time great Dennis Dixon. We will learn more about the Ducks in the next two weeks in games against Purdue and Boise State.

3 East Carolina - Patrick Pinkney has completed 80% of his passes and accumulated an ultra-impressive 167 QB rating after two huge victories. Non-conference games against ACC regional powers NC State and Virginia are still to come. Victories in those tilts coupled with a manageable C-USA schedule could set the Pirates up for some BCS action.

2 Oklahoma - Sam Bradford continues to lead one of the most potent attacks in the Nation. The Sooners have the defense to be in this thing to the end. With the Texas game being at a neutral site, the Sooners get all the rest of their big games at home.

1 USC - The Trojans seem fully re-loaded with Mark Sanchez at QB. With a 178 QB rating, Sanchez seems primed to continue the USC QB tradition. The prizefight with Ohio State this weekend will certainly be a test, but if the Trojans can get through, the rest of the schedule is manageable.


Malcom Hex said...

Welcome Back! The Blogfrica has been BORING without you.

Reverend Paul Revere said...

Daryll Clark is upset he was included.

Reverend Paul Revere said...

*Daryll Clark is upset he was not included.

Mack Power said...

hey paul revere....make up your mind!

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Daryll Clark is upset he was not included."

Sir, while Darryll Clark is impressive, Joe Paterno is the NCAA polling equivalent to John McCain.

Old, crusty, irritable. A symbol of policies and ideas which no longer work. An idolic homage to a failed administration.

We can only assume that the voters who take part in the NCQB were not fooled by Paterno's patronizing and pandering selection of running mate....quarterback.

Certainly, as the poll reflects, the intellect of our voters is not swayed by Paterno's empty attempt to shift the spotlight from himself.

Thank you.

Avonte Mixon said...

You need to include Miami!!!!

Ok, so they lost to Florida....but they have a black coach AND a black QB.

The gotta get votes for that right there!

Foxxy Brown said...

Return of the Mack, indeed!

welcome back, sir. and, i for one most certainly welcome the newer, Duck inclusiver NC&QBP.

hemant said...

I am relieved that this blog still exists. Go Georgia Tech! Josh Nesbitt is already better than our previous negroback, one Reggie Ball.

Mr Telefone Man said...

"I am relieved that this blog still exists. Go Georgia Tech! Josh Nesbitt is already better than our previous negroback, one Reggie Ball"

yea, but he is no Joe Hamilton!

RighteousReasoner said...

Praise Be...the Blog is back and the dumb ones can now be rescued again!!! I'm thrilled my daily dose of comedy is returning.

It is comforting to know that Mark Sanchez's fourth generation Mexican (read: very definitely not honkey) heritage is "not white enough" to pass for the the Revered and Righteous Negro-and-other non-"white"-or-European-based Coach & QB poll. Just remember, Sirs, he has jewish connections...and We hate jews.

Although you mention Mighty Negro QB Patrick White in the NC&QB post, I must ask why there is no mention of His Venerable Hispanic Mentor Rich Rodriguez?

I am thrilled we can again quench our thirst from Your Mighty Vessel of Knowledge. The Vince Young post was epic, but I must admit I expected a little more from the McNabb post, particularly since the media cannot diminish his accomplishments by crediting honkey Kevin Curtis, as they have been well known to do in seasons past. Thank you, and well done as always, sirs. I look forward to more frequent posts!

RockyJasons said...

Noted that Washington and the genius "Coach Ty" were missing from your top 10, and couldn't understand it until I reviewed his results for this year. Appears he is up to his old Notre Dame ways in subjecting his team to some early "humiliating" losses...Such a surprise....

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Noted that Washington and the genius "Coach Ty" were missing from your top 10"

Sir, others may scoff at your intellect...but your acute awareness, and associated brilliance, is not lost on us.

We thought no one would notice that we left a bad team out of the top 10.

But you noticed.

Bully for you, sir....bully for you.

RighteousReasoner said...


I was under the impression that the NOI Law states that any team coached by a Negro can never be called "bad", due to the honkey administrators undoubtedly holding the program back in an undeniable attempt to prevent any success by coaches rich in melanin

They are not a bad team. They are coached by a Negro.