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Monday, June 18, 2007

Pacman To Help Police

By now, most of you have read the headlines.

A late night shooting after an altercation at a night club. And Adam Jones was in the vicinity, allegedly. And once again, the police are calling on Pacman to help solve the crime.

Pacman, who is sitting out this season in an effort to improve his driving record and to work on finishing his degree at the University of West Virginia, has been called on by police to help them conduct the investigation. Obviously, Pacman's difficult upbringing and intimate knowledge of criminology techniques make him a prime candidate to assist authorities in this ongoing effort to solve the crime.

This seems like an excellent opportunity for Jones to continue to improve his rising public perception. Jones wanted to become more of a role model; and what better way than becoming the equivalent of a deputy of the law.

We wish Officer Jones the best as he leads the police in this investigation.

30 comments:

Dave the Wave said...

ummm.

what?

he is a SUSPECT, dipshit!

Martin said...

Sir, I can only hope that this does not distract Officer Pacman from helping Brother Simpson in his search for the real killers.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Sir, I can only hope that this does not distract Officer Pacman from helping Brother Simpson in his search for the real killers. "

Sir, our friend, Officer Pacman, who now has reached superhero status - Pacman is no longer just a nickname, when the po-po needs helphelp, the call Pacman to save Gotham - is singular of mind and effort. Nothing can or will stop him in his quest for righteousness.

The real killer has not slept in weeks.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"he is a SUSPECT, dipshit! "

Sir, you have leaped to a ridiculous conclusion.

Suspect? Pshaw!

The police CLEARLY stated that Mr. Pacman was being sought in an effort to gain information and insight into what happened.

Suspect, you say.

How about HERO. How about ally to law enforcement.

Try those.

But, suspect? Not in this lifetime.

Johnny Cockring said...

"How about HERO. How about ally to law enforcement."

pretty soon he'll be crashing through the door of your local meth lab alongside Deputy U.S. Marshal Shaquille O'Neal.

[cue buddy-cop movie theme music]

'Shaq and Pac Strike Back'

Somebody call Bruckheimer.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Somebody call Bruckheimer. "

Sir, on point....as usual.

Roll The Dice said...

""Somebody call Bruckheimer. "

how bout calling spike or john singleton.

keep it in the community.

Tripod said...

when is the NFL going to realize that it simply can't contain the free spirit of the invidual?

sure, pacman may not be every mothers' dream of a son. but the man has not been convicted.

let him play.

let him live the freewheeling lifestyle we ALL envy.

Martin said...

"when is the NFL going to realize that it simply can't contain the free spirit of the invidual?"

Roger Goodell and his one man judge, jury, and executioner committee scoff at your notion...

Al_Sharpton's_Banana_Hammock said...

roger may have to reevaluate his stance.

with cuban starting up a league, and that other rich guy talking about starting one...the threat of the players leaving for the freedom to express themselves off the field becomes a true danger.

like it is said...

let him play.

let him live the freewheeling lifestyle we ALL envy.

Dont speak for us ALL...most of us dont admire the thug culture. Idolizing people for consistently getting themselves in trouble is disgusting.

Tripod said...

"Dont speak for us ALL...most of us dont admire the thug culture. Idolizing people for consistently getting themselves in trouble is disgusting. "

man, what's disgusting is thinking anybody give a damn about what YOU say.

Pacman ain't been convicted of shit. Not a damn thing. When he is, then ban him and say what you want.

It ain't about thug culture. It's about due process.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"like_it_is"

Sir, please see the "whitlock leaving aol" thread.

Either go back to commenting as "censored", or don't post.

K?

K.

Malcom Hex said...

"Either go back to commenting as "censored", or don't post."

ahhh...givin' "the man" a taste of his own medicine...i likey.

Martin said...

"most of us dont admire the thug culture."

Sir, are you implying that Officer Pacman is part of the Thugee cult or a violent criminal? Either assertion, sir, is wrong. Officer Pacman has NOT been convicted of anything and is suspended for the entire year. How very apropos of you, though, sir, to use a stereotype to label an African American.

However, Rob Reynolds, a WHITE NFL player who was arrested and charged with domestic battery and assault, sir, and pleaded GUILTY to these to charges. Hence, sir, he is now a convicted criminal, but yet, he is allowed to play this upcoming year. Why, sir, why?

FREE PACMAN!

Andrew said...

Now if only a young white male and attractive female would join forces with him and dress in retro duds whilst solving crimes, it has been far too long since a "mod squad" has been on a case.

rogismybigbrother said...

"How about HERO. How about ally to law enforcement."

How about snitch?

(just kidding, I always wanted to have a reason to say "snitch")

Dee

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"DEE"

Ma'am, What's happening??

Love the name choice!

chicagoan said...

FYI:

It is believed to be fact that at least one member of Pacman's entourage was involved in a shooting. Pacman was called in for questioning because, even though he was not there, it is likely he has further information. There is no word on whether or not he has been made honorary detective.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-pacmanjones-shooting&prov=ap&type=lgns

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"There is no word on whether or not he has been made honorary detective."

Sir, we never said that he was made an "honorary detective", where did you get that? Why would you imply that we said that?

We simply pointed out that the police across the nation have taken to gleaning information from Pacman to help solve strip club shootings.

Thank you.

Dave the Wave said...

when is the company that makes "pacman" going to sue jones for defaming their name?

Johnny Cockring said...

"We simply pointed out that the police across the nation have taken to gleaning information from Pacman to help solve strip club shootings."

Sir, we should be proud to live in a country where the police are so diligent in their efforts to find truth and justice. In an area where they certainly have no personal experience, they seek out the knowledge of civilian experts such as Mr. Jones.

Instead of joining forces with Shaq, maybe Pac can help Ice get his own spin-off:

'Law&Order:SKU/Skripp Klub Unit'

Johnny Cockring said...

when is the company that makes "pacman" going to sue jones for defaming their name?

Sir, Mr. Jones is the embodiment of mindless consumption as encouraged and reinforced by the aforementioned video game. Add to that the element of being chased around by guys with sheets over their heads just for tryin' to get a bite, and he is nothing else than a walking advertisement for their product.

I can't see how that's defamatory.

Plus there's a hyphen in Pac-Man

chicagoan said...

I'm sorry-- I misunderstood the phrase "Officer Pacman." I meant no harm.

Martin said...

"Suspended Titan Adam "Pacman" Jones has been charged in the Minxx strip club shooting in Las Vegas."

Sir, is this like the plot in 'The Departed' where they are 'charging' Officer Pacman to give him street cred so that he can infiltrate the real criminal organizations?

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

""Suspended Titan Adam "Pacman" Jones has been charged in the Minxx strip club shooting in Las Vegas."

Sir, we are waiting to hear from sources at LV Metro PD about this.

Once we have info, we will reveal the truth of the situation.

Rest assured.

Dirty Sanchez said...

Pacman will not be controlled.

Somewhere, Sheff is smiling at the independence being shown by Mr. Jones.

MCBias said...

I'm pretty sure this happened to Sherlock Holmes too once or twice, right? The police are so incompetent that they think the detective is the criminal! Oh, that's rich. As we speak, I'm sure Officer Pacman is getting the dirt on the notorious Tricep Triad gang from his unwitting, unwary cellmate. Justice shall be done.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"Justice shall be done."

Sir, from you lips...to the ears that matter.

rogismybigbrother said...

Thanks NOI, glad you like, I thought it had a nice ring to it.