Brady Quinn: Like A Rock

After our submission a few days ago predicting the inevitable demise of the white QB, we received many emails. Some understood the reality of the situation and were able to fully embrace our vision. Some were skeptical, but were receptive to the concept that the role of QB was really better suited to the Negro competitor. And some were simply blind, raging discourses belittling the Tribe of Shabazz or demanding that Negroes be shipped back to Africa. Or they pointed out great white QB's from the past and compared them to the Negro QB's of today. Which in our mind, is like comparing the great white players of the '20's and 30's to Negro players in 1958. There isn't a sufficient history to juxtapose to accumulate an accurate study.

Our favorite email excerpt was this:

Dear Brillopad Haired Jabangi's,

Your apelike insolence and ignorance is typical of the racist bullshit that negras (that's how we pronounce the word around these parts) are always spouting off about. An old ass white guy says nappy, and the world stops. Some stupid jigs blog about white quarterbacks and running backs being inferior, and it's just fucking great.

Much like yourself, the average negra is too stupid to play quarterback. Yeah, yeah, I know, McNabb, Young, Vick. All illiterate mental midgets that get by on athleticism. Brady, Manning, Roethlisberger, Rivers. All field generals that understand more about the game than the hip hop addled minds of your negra quarterbacks will ever know.

Your racist blog is full of shit. And the negra quarterbacks are just a passing trend.

I hope you choke on your chit'lins, you dark faced monkey.

Hmm. Wonder if Bill Simmons ever gets email like that in his mailbag.

Anyway, we just figured it was appropriate to point out something very telling and important about this draft.

Once again, the Negro QB was at a premium.

And the pale skinned dandy out of the Cathedral of College Football proved to be a nonfactor.

Now, we normally don't gloat. It isn't necessary. Our righteousness is reward enough for our instinctual correctness and our intuitive understanding of the workings of the world, and the relationship therein to sports. So, to say, we told you so...would essentially be redundant. We told you. Therefore, it is so.

While Jamarcus Russell proved to be the most coveted commodity available, teams avoided Brady Quinn as if they knew he was prepared to come out as soon as he was drafted.

How could this be? Brady has been groomed to be the next great QB. He has "movie star" looks and poise and grace in front of the camera. Even we have to give him credit for his ability to remain cheery as his world collapsed around him in the green room. Or, maybe he was just too dumb to understand what was happening?

Regardless, when you get down to it, the reasons for Russell's value and Quinn's irrelevance are quite obvious.

Did you notice that the two receivers that Russell threw to at LSU were both drafted in the first round? Russell's talent runs so deep that he was able to provide financial futures to his teammates. Imagine the riches and victory that await the receiving corps in Oakland? Think Randy Moss won't be kicking himself come fall while he is shagging intermediate passes from Tom Brady; when he could have been on the receiving end of the greatest long ball thrower ever seen? Russell was able to step into the starting role at LSU and lead a program that had been left in a shamble of turmoil by Nick Saban, and somehow general a hodgepodge of unknown talent to the elite of college football. The past two drafts saw several players from LSU's offense go quite high. And there is an indisputable correlation between their performance and draft status and having played with Jamarcus Russell.

On the other hand, we saw Brady Quinn predicted to be the highest picked QB since the moment Charlie Weiss stepped on campus. In contrast to Russell dealing with the mess Saban left behind, Quinn lived in the bedrock of security at the Golden Dome. Surrounded by some of the highest rated talent assembled in the country. And yet, Quinn could never win the big game. Despite the fact his defenses gave him the chance to be on the field as much as possible by waving at opposing offenders as if they were bullfighters holding red capes. The greatest indicator of the lack of impact Quinn really had is the dearth of ND offensive players drafted over the past few years. With four picks left in the entire draft, former super recruits Rhema McKnight and Darius Walker were still on the board. It is telling that the "best" player on ND's offense is now playing pro baseball. Clearly, Quinn had quite an impact on their careers.

While Russell was drafted to be the savior of the proud Oakland franchise, Quinn seemed to be drafted in the low first round for two main reasons:

-as a personal favor from Romeo Crennel to his old friend Charlie Weiss. Basically, an attempt to salvage the "quarterback guru" reputation that Weiss has perpetrated.

-and as a marketing scheme. The Browns will be playing the hell out of the photo of a 5 or 6 year old Quinn in a Browns helmet and jersey.

In retrospect, it seems clear that the talent evaluators, draft experts and NFL executives have arrived at the same conclusion that we have:

The white QB is on the endangered species list.

We fully expect the evilishness behind the NFL to do all they can to save it. But we also fully understand the laws of nature.

And the position of QB in the NFL is completely subject to its very own version of the laws of Social Darwinism.

Brady Quinn's slide from the top of the draft to being a novelty pick is symbolic of the things to come.

Praise be.