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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Andy Pettitte: Serpent Tongued He-Devil

As the mainstream media continues the kid gloved handling of the assumed chemically enhanced career of Roger Clemens; Andy Pettitte (Clemens co-cheater and best friend) assaults us with an attempt to distract us from the reality of the situation.

In a steroid/hGH induced version of 'good cop, bad cop', Clemens continues his denials and offensive defense of his 'innocense'. At the same time, Pettite crawls out before the media to provide a self gratifying and distractory mea culpa in which he apologizes for breaking the law and cheating. Begging forgiveness for disgracing the game and his team, offending his fans, and dragging his father (who helped him obtain a scheduled drug) into the sordid affair. Pettitte comes across as contrite and honest.

Someone nominate this man for an Oscar.

Pettitte's attempt to distract us and take the headlines from Clemens is possibly the most transparent ploy we have witnessed. As Pettitte throws himself under the bus and somehow backs it up over and over again across his own hGH laden carcass; the media is letting Clemens get away with the sports equivalent of murder. The intentional and pre-planned assassination of a generation of fans' memories and thrills of the national past time.

The media did it's job in the case of the home run record setter. The posse gathered and strung their rope. Lynching him on circumstantial evidence and heresay. But now, when the culprit is a pitcher (read: white), the tactics have changed.

When the home run hitter's friend wouldn't actively implicate him, the friend was tossed in jail. The media implied that he must be getting some sort of financial reward to keep his mouth shut. That the home run hitter's accomplishments should be expunged from the record books.

Now, the pitcher's friend stands before us, humbled and remorseful. Wanting to cleanse his soul so that he can "sleep better at night" by detailing his sins and clearing his conscience. Open and honest. Even asking reporters, "did I answer your question", numerous times.

But let the line of questioning cross the threshold of the conspiracy's inner most evil, and suddenly the open and honest penance seeker is loathe to continue. Yes, ask him that question that truly matters, and the response and tenor of the conversation change on a dime, "I am not going there."

Mr. Pettitte, despite your carefully crafted plea for forgiveness and imitation of honest undressing of your inner demons, we as a sports Nation cannot (and will not) allow you the comfort of a restful night's sleep. We pray that your conscience continue to provide you with a heavy, heavy burden. That each time you close your eyes, or so much as blink, they burn. By the Great Power may your eyes roast in the fires of infidelity.

Until the time you can find it within your soul to embark on the righteous course, you shall be a pariah of the sports Nation.

Only on that day in which you confide in the sporting public the righteous truth; that YES, your friend Roger Clemens injected into the body our maker did provide him synthetic hormones in an effort to extend his talent, career and legacy. Only on that day shall you be free of the loathesome weight you carry around your neck. Only on that day shall the eyes of the sports Nation gaze upon you again.

Your attempts to shine the spotlight on your own sins so as to allow your pitcher friend to scurry in the shadows like a rat in a dark alley shall be your ticket to damnation.

And may all the accusers of the home run hitter be there with you should they not demand the placement of an asterisk next to those 300+ wins.

12 comments:

Nathan said...

Sometimes I think this blog is owned by a racist white guy who wants all blacks to come out as lazy, collectivist apologists.

RighteousReasoner said...

Ryan Perrilloux was suspended this morning by the coaching staff of LSU for apparent "violation of unspecified team rules". Poor Ryan was so harmed emotionally by institutionalized racism that he had no choice but to "act out". We all know that this is an attempt by the devil administrators at LSU to rid themselves of the Righteous Negro QB for next years season in order to get overhyped cracker QB Jarrett Lee a starting role.

RighteousReasoner said...

also, for the love of Allah can we get a Kevin Love post sometime? Clearly this paleface is all media hype. He's probably a rapist too.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

Sir, a commmentary on Young Perrilloux's predicament is in the works.

Nathan, didn't we establish long ago that when you 'think', you get yourself in trouble?

Good day.

ZEKE said...

"wants all blacks to come out as lazy, collectivist apologists."

you mean like you came out as a fag?

madd hatter said...

it's a total a total joke. all the sports columnists were calling for bonds' head...but with clemens we are supposed to wait for some 'evidence'?

seriously?

Mack Power said...

so, pettitte wants to come clean, but won't address the most important part of the story.

GoldManGold said...

I believe part of this double standard is due to the batter/pitcher issue as much as black/white. However, there are fewer Negro pitchers, so which is the chicken and which is the egg?

Colin Gilbert said...

No good deed goes unpunished! Punish the honest man NOIS! Let him have it! I mean, the guy is telling the truth and trying to be a good friend to his buddy whose lie is ruining both of their lives... He deserves all the media punishment he can get!

Malcom Hex said...

"so which is the chicken and which is the egg?"

you hit the nail on the head!

i like chicken better than eggs. so i hope bonds is the chicken.

nation_of_islam_sportsblog said...

"I mean, the guy is telling the truth and trying to be a good friend to his buddy whose lie is ruining both of their lives... "

Sir, you mean he is trying not to implicate his friend.

That is not forthright. That is not honest.

Punish him indeed.

The truth shall set Pettitte free. And it shall set Clemens' ill gotten Cy Youngs free!

Sebastian said...

Baseball seems to be going through a kind of "truth and reconciliation" phase. Players named in the Mitchell report are coming clean.

In yesterdays Chi Sun-Times, Burhle said the biggest deterrent to doping in baseball is to witness what Clemens and Pettitte are going through. There's a lot of truth to that.

The process may not involve enough wailing and gnashing of teeth for NOIS; but it is having the proper effect.

Eventually this venting will end up implicating the Commissioner's office. That's where the fun will begin. What did the Sad Sack know when?