Victory: Intelligent Activism Yields Results

We have received many, many emails from readers. Most, intelligent communiques agreeing with our enlightened outlook and praising our teaching methodology.


Some, diatribically venomous ad hominem attacks voicing no real point of view; other than the writer is angry that the world is changing rapidly and he/she is being left behind.


We generally aren't the type to pat ourselves on the back and devote time to pointing out every instance in which our activism leads to change.

But, we feel this time is important enough to lend some attention.


Our regular readers will recall last weeks sermonical presentation on the racist tendencies exhibited by a Sports Illustrated football writer. In his weekly column, the writer gives out a "Good Guy of the Week" award. All winners this season had been white.


We believed that it was time to take a stance against the writer, and we put together a well received expose on the writer's pattern.

Brothers and Sisters, the response of Mr. Peter King overwhelmingly substantiates our findings.

This morning, in his 'column', Mr. King anointed a new 'Good Guy of the Week'.

Lo and behold, after our public outcry against his award practices which thus far had repetitively excluded Negroes from being crowned as 'good guys'; Mr. King coronated Brian Dawkins as his 'Good Guy of the Week'.

Certainly, no one can argue that Dawkins deserves the award. He did something to help someone or donated some time to a charity or helped kids or some such endeavor. What he did is not of consequence.

It is the recognition of a Negro player as a 'good guy' that matters.

We applaud Mr. King for tapping out under the pressure administered by our previous literary choke hold. And caving to the concentrated demands of our movement.

Now that the precedent has been set, we anticipate a run of Negro players winning this coveted award.

In related news:

Last week we also ran a piece illustrating that Ronnie Brown was one of the most efficient QB's in football and that he was best suited to be the starting QB for the Dolphins.

Seems Mr. King has jumped on that bandwagon as well.

The best thing for Miami is how adept Brown is at taking snaps and using play-fakes and even throwing the ball.

Indeed.

King even went so far as to name Miami Quarterback Coach, David Lee, his Coach of the Week for the work he has done implementing this package centered around Ronnie Brown assuming the role of Negro QB.

While we must admit there is certainly going to be a lingering issue in King's blatant attempt to credit the white coach with the success of the new Quarterback; we must agree with the sentiment of King's statement.

Clearly, in naming the Quarterback Coach the coach of the week for his work with Brown, King is anointing Brown the Quarterback of the Dolphins.

We made that point over a week ago, but it is fulfilling to see the mainstream media agree that Ronnie Brown is one of the best Negro-QB's in the NFL.

Yes, we can change!

SI's Peter King: Admits to being Racist?

In today's edition of the morbidly dull and mortally uninformative stylings of Peter King's Sports Illustrated column, a fan submitted an email essentially pointing out that King had tunnel vision in his weekly awarding of some award for 'good guy' of the week.

From Paul, of New York City: "Peter, my friends and I have a running joke about how many weeks into the season your 'good guy' award goes to a white man. Four for four thus far. More than 50 percent of the players in the league are black, as you know.

Clearly, the point being; that when King 'thinks' good guy, he thinks white guy.

That is called being racist.

One would think that King would either refute the sentiment or at least tell us some story about a Negro 'friend' which would prove to the world that he isn't racist.

Something along the lines of:

'I dialed the personal cell phone number of Donovan McNabb to talk to him on my cell phone, and while on the cell phone call with McNabb, he said, 'Gee willikers, Peter King, we played a dynamite game today'. Then, I spoke into my cell phone, on which I had dialed Donovan McNabb's personal cell phone number, and told him --over the cell phone --about a supremely funny TV show I had just discovered called, The Office. He said the title sounded supremely funny. We laughed. And then some guy who was travelling to Colgate University (where my daughter who used to play softball at Montclair High, Marybeth, attended college) walked by and said something loud. Very annoying! I decided to skip going to the gym. The hotel has a very good gym, and if you go at 3:30AM, there are surprisingly few people competing for treadmills. Instead, I decided to go to Starbuck's and have a Trinidadian-Mocha-Frappolotta-Roasted-Coffee-Bean-Triple-Non-Fat Carmel-with-a sugar-free-maple-infused-raspberry-flavor-shot Green Tea. Green Tea is so healthy. And Donovan is a good friend.'

But no, all he had to say was:

Thanks for keeping me on my toes.

As in:

Ooops, you noticed. Better pick a jigaboo next week.

Rant: Time to 'Crown' King

We certainly aren't the first blog to take umbrage with Peter King's literal concoctions. From his almost always wrong Fantasy Football advice, to near weekly column droppings about calling (insert football player) on his personal cell phone, to his (now, humanely halted) attempts to recommend music to his maddeningly late discoveries of technological advancements and portraying them as if he just stumbled upon something new....clearly, Blogfrica never has been and never will be a fan of SI's Norm Peterson look alike.

But, at this juncture, we feel compelled by the Greatest Power to issue a fatwa on the writings of King.

His unholy writing and treacherous opinions must be mercifully deposed and eradicated. As a peaceful Nation, we do find it to be conflictious of us to advocate violence against the writings of King; but nonetheless, we will be the ones burdened with our veritable hypocrisy.

At times, it is best to accept righteousness for what it is...not what it isn't. We ask our followers at this time to accept this righteous decree and to limber their arms as they pick up stones to follow us as we set forth to punish the column so heinously and infidelically aimed at our faith and our righteous intellect.

Certainly, you ask yourself, what could this creature have possible set forth in written word that could so completely compel such vehement and inarguable opposition? Surely, the rotund curly cue of a 'journalist' couldn't possibly be capable of surprising anyone with a silly comment, a completely wrong prediction or a lame attempt at humor. His mundane language, inept commentary and predicable opinions certainly don't incite the emotions of the rational and righteous. Normally.

But, King has somehow lifted his fat, flat foot and extended it past the line of just being an unimaginative bore. King has insulted Blogfrica on a level that exceeds cartoonish representations of Allah. A level that extends beyond insulting beliefs.

In the past, we've watched King somehow drape himself in a moral cloak fashioned from his muddled view of politics, culture and sports. We've simply shaken our collective heads as a Nation and chalked it up to his being out of touch with pop culture and real politics.

This time, King has somehow sewn his misguided assumptions, desires and view of 'media' into a Baby Huey sized pair of undergarments that barely hold in his ample and dimpled buttocks, as he wags his porcine finger pretending he has any intellectual authority on the subject at hand.

"Want to read an enjoyable blog, a guy who blogs the way blogs were meant to blog? David O'Brien has a great slice-of-spring-training-life in the Atlanta Journal Constitution. Very human, with snippets of how he does his job (not as easy as you think), the music that accompanies him on trips around central Florida chasing the Braves, and the fun scenes he sees -- like the Hooters with the defunct Hooters Motel behind it. "

First, we must stress that in no way should David O'brien's blog or words be inadvertently harmed in the stoning of King's column. O'brien deserve no outrage. He is simply a pawn in the infidelity perpetrated by this ghastly King.

Blog the way blogs were meant to blog? Judgment and direction on blogging apportioned to Blogfrica from..............Peter King?

This contemptuous act, clearly meant as an insult and purposely aimed at anyone who has so much as thought of taking up keyboards and joining NOIS' revolution, can not be allowed to blight the internet. The internet that NOIS has so carefully, righteously and thoughtfully set free under the auspices of our declaration of manifest Blogfrica.

King's words are akin to not simply blasphemy, but an invasion. An invasion of insipid thought, action and words into a wonderfully open and painfully righteous realm. A crusade of darkness and evilishness into a peaceful and enlightened domain.

We beseech each and every reader to take up stones. To follow us to the grotto and to aim their stone at the "Monday Morning QB" column, ejaculated each Monday morning by King. To pull back their arms and force every ounce of righteous intellect they can behind that stone as it powers through the air and impacts the very breath out of the horrid words turned on us by King.

The day the devilishly boring and dinosaurish intellect of a Peter King determines 'the way blogs were meant to blog' is the very day that righteousness on earth shall forever be extinguished by suffocating shackles of status quo and unoriginal thought.

Dear friends and believers....end the tyranny of this fat prophet of Satan by casting your stone at his column until the very last breath of stagnant thought and empty insight is forever crushed under the righteous unity of Blogfrica.


We put our faith in the power above to protect us from this scourge of intellect.

Peter King: Landmark Event

For those of you, like us, that habitually read Peter King columns so you can feel good about your own football knowledge, self worth, appearance, intelligence and just general existence...we wish to make known a landmark event that took place today.

Peter extended his recording breaking streak.

For what seems like the 1000th consecutive column or tv appearance, Peter mentioned he called a pro football player on his cell phone.

We aren't sure if it is Peter's way of bragging to us that he has their numbers. Or if he is still mystified with cell technology.



Or, maybe he is just as surprised as we are that he can operate a cell phone.

Congrats, Peter. We imagine that Carson Palmer couldn't be more thrilled that you have him on your contacts list.


And. For those that don't read Peter. You are missing things like this.

Fresh from his latest offering:

We, as a society, need to leave Britney Spears alone. It's pathetic the way the paparazzi chases her the way dogs chase cars. Let this woman have a prayer to have a life with her two children.


And the word out there is that Sports Illustrated is becoming irrelevant. Pshaw!

David Garrard: Oh...Nevermind...

We had written a wonderful post extolling the virtues and impressive development that Jax Jaguars' Negro QB David Garrard demonstrated Sunday in leading his team to a victory in the Mile High city.

But, then....we saw this:

"I'm starting to believe in David Garrard. "

It appeared in a column this Monday Morning.

A column written by...............Peter King.


Sorry, David, you were just victimized by the 'fecal touch'.

Kiss your progress goodbye.

Peter King: Oh Really?

If you are like us, and subject yourself to cnnsi.com's MMQB column by Peter King as a form of intellectual self flagellation, and if you made it to the end of his muddled thoughts on the Vick situation and his socially irrelevant commentary about his travelings and muddling through his boring existence; you might have come across one of his "quotes of the week":

"He's the biggest fish in the whole doggone pond right now, so they're putting the squeeze on him [Vick] to get to everyone else. Now, granted he might have been to a dogfight a time or two, maybe five times, maybe 20 times, may have bet some money, but he's not the one you're after. He's just the one who's going to take the fall -- publicly.''-- All-time NFL rushing leader Emmitt Smith, speaking Saturday at his enshrinement in the College Football Hall of Fame.

Anyone with a modicum of sense and a broad perspective can understand what Smith is saying. He is saying that, essentially, Vick isn't the "godfather" of dog fighting in America and the federal government is using Vick's fame to make this case a front page issue in an effort to get to the "godfathers" of the activity.

This is not an uncommon practice used by law enforcement. Shake the trees. Go after people with a lot to lose.

King's response?

Nice to see Emmitt knows so much about the federal government's case. Didn't anyone ever tell him, "When there's an important issue out there, give an educated opinion if you have a good idea what you're talking about. If you're not sure what you're talking about, the only thing you can do by opening your mouth is look like you're 11 years old.''

First of all, if only educated opinions were allowed, we'd have long ago seen the editors force King to talk about NOTHING but football in his bowel moving columns. If only educated opinions were allowed we wouldn't have to hear about King discovering things like a Betamax or 8 track tapes 30 years after they were technologically relevant. We wouldn't have to endure things like him telling us about the wonderful music he discovered to download on his iPod. And the "discovery" being Johnny Cash. If educated opinions were all that were allowed, King would have been stifled long ago. So, let's not go throwing rocks at glass houses, Mr. King.

It sounds very much like Smith empathizes with Vick's plight and doesn't find it very objectionable that Vick might have put a few bucks down on dogfights. Is he serious? Is there anything justifiable about Vick going to a single dogfight, or gambling a dime on a dogfight? Should the feds, once they had evidence from four corroborating witnesses that placed Vick in the middle of one dogfight after another, have ignored the evidence and not gone after him?

Where did Smith say any of this? All Smith did was say that he believed the Feds were so aggressively going after Vick because they saw the chance to use him to get folks even deeper in the game than Vick.

Why on earth would this cause Mr. King to become so indignant?

I have a bad feeling about Smith's tenure at ESPN, and it hasn't even started. His comments on Vick are so idiotic and inappropriate that a few people at the Worldwide Leader have to be thinking, "Uh-oh. What if we've gone and hired someone who's very famous but not very smart?''

Based on Mr. King's interpretation of Smith's remarks (and King's column in general), we have to think that Sports Illustrated must ask itself the same thing every Monday morning.

Perhaps the most ridiculous part of Kings misinterpretation based diatribe was another of his choices for quotes of the week:

"I am confident that the hottest places in hell are reserved for the souls of sick and brutal people who hold God's creatures in such cruel and brutal contempt.''-- West Virginia Sen. Robert Byrd, on those who participate in dogfighting and raise dogs for dogfighting.

Ruminate for a moment.

King is calling Smith an idiot because of Smith's point of view.

And King goes on to reinforce how horrible dog fighting is by using quotes about going to hell for doing it. How horrible it is to treat God's creatures badly. Quotes from Robert Byrd on who should go to hell for being cruel to God's creatures.

Ruminate.

Robert Byrd. Proud former member of the KKK is an example of a reasonable moral barometer with currency behind his words on how to treat God's creations, according to King.



And, Emmitt Smith is the idiot?

If You Don't Read Peter King, You Are Missing Out

Readers, if you don't take the time to read Peter King on SI.com each week, you are missing the most socially aware and valuable sports columnist in America.

(No, we aren't columnists, so that doesn't include us. But good question.)

In his most recent MMQB, King related an experience he witnessed in the parking lot a NJ mall. To condense his descriptive imagery and breath taking writing, we will sum it up thusly:

Lady in minivan driving. Lady in Audi on phone not paying attention. Angry lady get out of minivan. Yells at lady in Audi, who is on cell phone. Cell phone is reason that Audi lady was distracted.

At this point in the column, King is just a reporter. Relaying the events as they unravelled. Giving us the details of the situation. But that quickly changes.

King becomes relevant social commentator.

"I find myself cheering on minivan woman. Where's the enforcement of the cell-phone laws in some states, the ones that mandate users not be holding the phone while driving?"

And Peter brings up a valid and enormously important point.

This incident should have never gotten to the point that a lady had to get out of her minivan to flip off another driver. A driver on a cell phone. It should have never happened.

The state of NJ has banned driving while using a hand held cell phone.

In doing so, the state assumed the responsibility of ensuring that drivers comply with the edict. As Peter points out, that's called enforcement.

If the state is going to make it illegal to do, they should allocate the appropriate number of law enforcement personnel to enforce it. As Peter asked, "where's the enforcement?"

This is an issue that transcends race, religion or ethnicity.

We at NOISb join Peter's call for law officers to be stationed in every mall parking lot in the country. Vigilantly patrolling and intent on enforcing the cell phone ban.

If law enforcement had been doing their jobs, minivan woman would never have had to get out of her car to curse at and flip off Audi lady.

This is just another case of the lack of enforcement in this country forcing citizens to be uncivil towards one another.

We have Peter King to thank for bringing this to light.

Oh, and, one more thank you to Peter. For this:

Tiger Woods and I have something in common: He just got a tuneup of his original LASIK procedure. I'll get said tuneup in June.

You don' t get commentary and insight like that anywhere else, folks!

Peter King: Thanks For That

Since discovering Peter King, we have been awed by his prose and his insight.

Had to share this on Randy Moss:

I'm about to get preachy/sappy. Even when the Patriots took a chance on guys like Corey Dillon, they were using roster spots on guys who were never accused of not hustling. To me, and to Bob Kraft, Bill Belichick and Scott Pioli, cheating the game is the worst crime a player can commit.

Obviously, based on the trade, the Patriots managers don't lump themselves in with Peter's holier than thou grouping.

And clearly, he shouldn't include himself either. He writes about the game on an almost daily basis.

No game deserves that kind of treatment. Peter doesn't just cheat the game. He brutalizes it. He would do less damage if he went to Canton and just set the Hall on fire.

And if doing so meant he would stop submitting columns; we'll provide the kerosene.

Vince Young REALLY is in Trouble

It's hard enough for Vince Young. Being a Negro QB in the NFL paints a target right in the middle of his back. Being the cover boy for Madden now subjects him to the curse.

But things just got worse.

We all know that SI.com's Peter King is well known for NEVER being right. Well, this is what Peter had to say about the Madden "curse":

And this stuff about a jinx for the last six players on the box getting injured the year they were featured on the box? The sport is football, people. Men get hurt, very often, playing football. And by the way, the only man I ever knew who seriously did not want to be on the cover of SI because of its supposed jinx was Bill Parcells, a card-carrying superstitious nut. Jinx, schminx.

Well, there you have it. Clearly, the power brokers in the NFL have decided to ensure that Young's season will be a short one.

Personally, we at NOISb are firmly convinced (based on past history) that Peter King's opinions and picks are substantially more jinxed than the curse.

We wish Vince a speedy recovery and successful rehab, in advance.


Oh and by the way. Just in case you were wondering, Peter also had this to say:

I like the way Jason Whitlock thinks.

We suggest Jason do some soul searching.