If The Candidate Were A Coach...

College football and presidential politics. Two arenas filled with corruption, empty promises, high hopes, dirty money and politicians.

What if the Obama, Hillary and McCain were college football coaches?

Who would they be?

Half-rican American Barack Obama is the presidential equivalent of former Notre Dame (current U Dub) coach Tyrone Willingham.

Obama burst onto the scene as a man with a vision of renewed hope and dignity. He didn't have a truly measurable track record, but he had a commanding, polished and regal presence that has allowed for a predominantly white electorate to get over their deeply rooted desire to reject him based solely on his fraternally bestowed Negro-ness. Upper middle class and well educated whites have welcomed him with open arms. Coronating him the savior of American politics and warmly wrapping themselves in the comfort of the communication of his positive vision. But, as soon as he mis-steps or doesn't meet the incredibly high standards that will be expected of him; the clamor for his leaving office will be deafening. There will be no margin for error in his term. And, after he is run off, whomever is chosen as his white successor will be given a mandate of a minimum of two terms. Despite the strong possibility that there will be no discernible difference in performance at the time of the mandate. And, certainly, any early success gained by the successor will be attributed to the successor's 'genius'; Obama's contributions will quickly be discounted and he will be labelled as shiftless and lazy.

Hillary Clinton is Nick Saban.

Somehow, Hillary is able to convince herself that what comes out of her mouth is honest and true. Her moral character allows her to easily reshape reality to her personal needs, and her mind believes it. Whether it be NAFTA, snipers or health care; she doesn't bat an eye or hesitate to give the politically expedient and personally beneficial answer or comment. Regardless of what historical documentation of the event says actually happened. In normal life, that is called lying. In college football or politics, that is the ability to spin or sell your program. Hillary's other great talent is to look at the rules, and rather than find ways to comply with them (ie, party tenants for the number of delegates required to win the candidacy and party decisions for states that broke rules), she looks for loopholes in the language that allow her to attempt to gain an advantage over others. Hillary runs an authoritarian regime, emasculating those around her and rarely looks pleased or happy. Such is the life of one who sees every interaction as a power struggle.

John McCain is Mike Price.

Mike Price took a woeful Wazzou program and turned it into a winner. A little older than the average 'hot coach', Price seemed to be earning the chance at a plumb coaching job later in life than many coaches. Given the keys to the storied Alabama program, it turned out that Price simply wasn't a good fit for the 'party'. His 'philosophy' didn't quite match that of his constituents or the other 'party' power brokers. He ended up never coaching a game for the Tide and is now back to having some success in a smaller program with a less 'conservative' philosophy out in the Southwest.

Politicians and college football coaches.

What's the difference?

Saban: A $32M Slave Master

Well, slavery in the deep south remains an institutionally approved and profitable proposition. The University of Alabama recently fired their football coach, ostensibly because he did not win enough games. In turn, the University, which has been represented for the past two and a half decades by the most athletic and bright young Negroes the State of Alabama could find, hired a coach without so much as pretending to consider allowing a Negro to head the program.

Here, we have a football team steeped in the mighty traditions of Bear Bryant (a reknowned hater and eventual user of the original human), still refusing to acknowledge that the Negro is capable of doing more than pulling the plow and picking the cotton. A young Negro is good enough to wear the cherished Alabama football jersey and give his blood, sweat and tears so that the landowners in the stands can feel as though they, too, have won the game; yet, he that would lead these young Negro soldiers onto the battlefield to fight for the glory of the Univeristy must be white. He must be cut in the mold of the landowner. Symbolic of the desire to return the Negro to shackles and shanties.

To add insult to the Negro injury, the State has agreed to bequeath a tender of $32M dollars on the new plantation boss. Yes, $32M dollars to browbeat, mold and prod our young Negro soldiers to victory in the name of the University of Alabama. A quick glance at one of the proud HBCU's in Alabama, Alabama State University, shows that the football coach there (a black man) is payed $12.17 an hour to coach his team; a group of young Negroes who DO NOT represent the landowners and plantation descendents that fill the stadium in Tuscaloosa each Saturday in the fall.

The angry folk in Miami resorted to calling the new Alabama slave master, Nick "Satan". We at the Nation of Islam believe this is an adequate moniker. He represents the continuing challenge to the sovereignty of the Negro and the unhidden desire of the plantation Alabama to perpetuate the good fortunes of the white devil at the expense of the opportunity of the Negro.

By Allah, this can not be denied.