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Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Rick Reilly is Right: Utah is National Champ

Generally, we perceive Rick Reilly's work since moving to to be lazy, boring, unfunny, ill-conceived, cliche, trite, uncreative, untimely, irrelevant and overall.....unnecessary.

We use his column as a barometer for what subjects to stay away from. A general rule: if Reilly is keying about it, it is either ancient news or not news.

How Reilly gets a 7 figure contract while none of our contributors can get so much as a corner in AOL's Fanhouse is beyond ponderance.

Anyway, sometimes storms catch us off guard, even though we tally the readings of the barometer.

Reilly's most recent cliche infested ramble anointed Utah as his national champion. Being of sound mind, we can generally pick apart any argument that Reilly makes and clearly show that siding with him is akin to believing we can invest a trillion dollars in the economy and do it while implementing a middle class tax cut. It's just plain foolish to take his point of view.

Well, we are fools.

Reilly is one hundred percent correct in believing that the BCS title game between Florida and Oklahoma is an affront to college football fans everywhere. That it is a fraud and a conspiracy. That it is a slap in the face to the competitive interests of the sport.

Reilly blames it on greed. On the unwillingness of BCS conferences to spread the wealth around a little.

Uh-oh. The barometer is showing a rising pressure.

While Reilly's conclusion is spot on; his arrival to correctness seems to be happenstance.

Yes, Utah deserves to be National Champion.

No, greed and conspiracy to exclude non-BCS teams from the pot of gold is NOT why they aren't in the title game.

Clearly, the painstakingly obvious reason must have been beyond the sleepy eyed view of the lethargic minded Reilly.

Utah has a Negro QB.

Since the installation of the BCS system, only two teams (1998 Tennessee and 2005 Texas) were generalled by Negro QB's to championships. Both of those teams were major players in major conferences, and undefeated. There was no possible way to exclude the teams from the title game.

Along comes a MWC team with a Negro QB. What better way to send a message to non-BCS schools that if you choose to align yourselves with Negro QB's, you will not be invited to the big party?

The effort is two fold. It will stop non-BCS schools from gaining the requisite competitive edge offered by having a Negro QB, which in turn will cement the dominance of BCS teams. And it also will cut down on the Negro QB pool of available draftees for the NFL. Saving jobs for white QB's.

Clearly, in Reilly's haste to crown Utah as his national champions, Reilly missed the crystal clear conspiracy that was right under his nose. Instead, Reilly went with money as the devil in this instance.

Haven't we all realized by now that green is not the color of evil?

Evil is the absence of color.


And Reilly's columns are the absence of relevance.

Also white.

Enough is Enough: When Will Negro Coaches Learn?

A few weeks ago, Brother Charles Barkley valiantly spoke out about the hiring practices of his troubled alma mater, Auburn.

Brother Charles, with full insider's knowledge, disclosed that Auburn had chosen not to pursue the employ of the up and coming savior of the University of Buffalo, Turner Gill. Gill, the possessor of a glorious resume that included a history of winning as a player, learning to coach under the tutelage of a Hall of Famer and taking a moribund corpse of a program to a conference title in the blink of a three year span; had been relegated to nothing more than a passing interest because of the baggage he carried with him: a white wife.

Certainly, Gill is not the first Negro male to stray from the fruits offered on the family tree of the Motherland. And certainly, Gill has to be upset that his choice of nuptial fulfillment has come back to cost him the chance to move up the ladder of coaching opportunity.

Lesson learned. And blame placed where it belongs. On the white woman.

Hopefully Brother Coaches will understand the error of Gill's ways and truly learn.

As more and more head coaching positions have come open with the end of the season, it's clear that college administrators have heard the demands levied by NOIS on behalf of the Negro Coach.

At one point, we were down to the venerable Kevin Sumlin at Houston and Miami's rule conscious Randy Shannon as the only D1 Negroes with corner offices. But, our hard line stance on behalf of qualified and determined Negroes with a whistle has opened the door for several openings to be darkened in.

However, Brother Coaches, NOIS can only do so much. We can only bring pointed and concentrated media attention to the issue. We can't work miracles. We can only witness them.

Therefore, after reading this, we can only ask that Negro coordinators with ambitions of receiving a head coach's pay check please be advised to resist the temptation of the most rotten apple in Eden. The white seductress.

Nothing good has ever come of a Negro man taking a white wife. Nothing. And, as clearly demonstrated by Brother Charles' summation of Gill's tribulations and Charlie Strong's trials detailed in the link we gave; nothing good can come of it.

If the temptation of the bleached na-na is too powerful, by all means, partake. But please don't feel compelled to take the dead man's walk down the aisle.

Look no further than the paternity of our Royal Potentate-elect. No marriage. No opportunities lost. And something good did come of it.


The white woman has already ruined the white man. Let's not let her destroy the opportunities of our Negro Coaches.

(edit- Soon after his remarks, Barkley was arrested on suspicion of DUI. Barkley has a white wife.)